Wed: another day of slacking and sleeping in the morning in the council room, but chuken came along to the room & was rather unexpected because he always have lessons in the morning. But i guess, things always happened at the most unexpected times right? we had a good 1.5 hour of h2h and i actually told him about what i am most afraid of... it wasn't something that i expected myself to say, considering the situation and context but idk why, i guess that fear scared and terrified and traumatized me so much, when i just need a slight reminder or mention about it, i will start crying and then cannot stop after that. It was such a bad memory, but i definitely don't want that to happen anymore, because i am not ready, just not ready yet. maybe 40,50, or 60 years from now, i will tell myself to face reality and time to learn to accept the truth, but for now, just let me continue to wish for the little greediness i have in me and nothing will change for the next 40-60 years. and yes, it was a good h2h, because we were sharing really personal and private stuff since a while so yeah, thankful that for 1.5hr :) oh, and let me tell you why the situation is awkward, nicholas was also in the room, but he was sleeping & it was just us three in the room, i swear it was such a weird combi. the day continued with more practice for op but i guess the highlight was at the end of the day. for this entire week, each and every singly day, we were planning to go home together, but even until thurs, for four days straight, it never happened. HAHAH. i guess this is why we are telepathic, we worked better when we don't plan or expect anything from either party. anyway, i ended up going for prata with his clique & tingkai. it was rather alright, and i would say this is the third time i sat down and had a proper convo with them all (: it was a good time spent because i am really thankful that they were very accepting towards me and they allowed me to join them for meals and convo. Obviously, when i decide to be there, i am defintely prepared to get shoot down or teased the whole time, but minus that part, everything was alright & i genuinely enjoyed their presence and company a lot (: it was probably one of the day that i had quite some fun since the week sigh....because everything was just going wrong for pw omg. oh and banana prata is so good & on point la omg, love it so much yay. and yes, it was the perfect end to that tiring day :)
Thurs: actually i didn't have to report for sch, because my group wasn't scheduled a slot for our practice or audience, but he said our group is one of the better group so he actually made us present in front of all his students omg, and the presentation was at 3 please friends. so i needed to be in school from 740 and until 3 please smh. But after all the small practicing and lazing around, we presented but our presentation was cut because lack of time, and smh cut just right after my part omg so done with life please. anyway, was really drained after the entire day, and didn't get to go home with chuken again because he had pw in the end. see, i tell you it will never worked out HAHAHA.
Fri: nothing much today and i didn't attend school bc dry run officially commence and people that are not involved on those days don't have to report to school. afternoon was just drama, skype with chuken & also i completed my i&r and tbh, i am quite proud of my work because it was legit through some hardwork on the brain and also much research. once again, i open more than 20 tabs, but it is okay, because compared to draft 1, it is definitely something better and more presentable please. teehee. :3
anyway, it is getting late and i have enough of lectures for the day already. need to wake up as early as 5/6am tmr sigh. time to go now. goodnights
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