FINALLY, after nearly 4 months of hard work, i submitted my wr this morning. We went through one more round of stupid shit because we got our cover page wrong & had to get it reprinted. So we had to go and find people to allow us to photocopy and then when we are done, we had to rewrite all the details and then sign, before we can submit. We called the mt people out from their lessons and sign so that we can finally submit the wr to him. & when we finally submit the wr, he came and said the below statement. 'why only 2834? that is around 170 words missing, and abt 17 sentences, which can add up to 2 or even 3 paragraphs of analysis. are you sure? are you confident?' at that point, i was holding back everything in me and i was this close to throw my wr at his face omg. i honestly couldn't believe what i heard from him omg. all this time you were rushing us up and down, chasing us like mad and now you are the same GOD DAMN HUMAN that ask us if we are going to submit our wr like that. omfg, i was going to curse at him already. i was so angry that i ranted to jess and hidayah about it, i was like omg, are you kidding me seriously urgh. i am going through so much for pw, please give me my A omg, i NEED that A to convince myself that whatever i went through all these months is worth my time and efforts wtf, it is not making sense please. urgh, i was so angry and i wanted to straggle him so so much omg fml someone hold me please.
& then, when wr is over & ms nunis asked for the cards for the EAS staffs. sean told me that she wanted it today so i was like okay lorh, i don't have a choice anymore, but omg when i met ms nunis, she told me that she can give me until the end of this week & i was like omg wth, no way am i going to submit this kind of sloppy work please, it is not me omg and definitely not my standard too please. And so, i had to remake the cards, and i got jo and kimchi to help me. and of course, their art is just of another level compared to me. thankful for those two bc they helped me with the decorations of the cards designing. (:
& finally, i cleared all my misunderstandings with weiran. she finally told me about the urgent yet not so important issue, turned out it was nicholas lmfao. i was so worried about what it was and turned out it was burden chan. i am just like 'i am out of this god dammit' and when, i just tell myself i am going to put it all down, something must happened to come back and haunt me back again. like from the confession day, i tell myself i am going to be like nothing has ever happened before. after that, council via happened and look at how weird he was omg. after that, came along teachers day so he was so caught up with all the work and he overlook everything else. And when i thought everything was over, two weeks ago, during council dinner, all the mentions of carrots got on me, but after talking to chuken the same night, i was feeling much better and then i was able to look at him and yes, be just another very comfortable friend. And in just two weeks later, i cannot believe what weiran told me omg urgh. why am i always tied down by him omg, like he is legit number one burden chan i swear. he cannot stop coming into my life omg and he needs to stop coming in and ruin my life omg get away you piece of shit seriously. & weiran also told me recently what happened and that i am glad that she told me everything because though she ended up ranting about me to me. recently, i admit i disappointed because i was really reluctant to open my wa and reply people too. sigh i am so sorry towards everyone and i am going to stop all these too, one step at a time. it is all about balancing that's all. all i need to do is to learn to strike and plan my time that's all. so yeap, after going out with ming, rose, chuken & also caught up with rachel, it's time to catch up with the remaining others too. we are still left with limin, once more with weiran & also my shopping trip with tampkangnied.
& also, i need to plan and write down all the things i need to do & people i need to meet during this coming holidays to make sure i can achieved everything before 2015 ends.
We finally caught up with many many things but sigh, bc she was slightly pissed off and disappointed with me, so this time round, it is my turn to make things better. sigh, i also genuinely hope everything will be better and back to how it was ): i looked through the ikea videos and photos and i really missed what we were doing that day omg sigh ):
SIDENOTE AND HIGHLIGHT THIS: while walking out of council room today, this random guy walked up to me suddenly and said 'i think you're very cute, can i take a photo with you?' omg, wtf wth so random and why are people so weird and random!! i cannot adapt omg wth. it is the first time i am seeing him and then he has such request??? dafaq omg. & then kimchi told me someone from her class eyecandy me today smh. And he eyecandy him since election era smh. and they even talked about me in their class, and i am just like wth smh i am so done with life please seriously. & when kimchi asked me to guess, that was this guy that the first moment i saw him, he gave me the j1 senior feel, bc kimchi told me he is a j1 senior and that, there is only one j1 senior in the class. when i shrink down to only three, she told me it was among these three. and when i am done with two, i just go with my gut feelings, and bingo, i was right all this while. urgh my gut feelings. i was right all this while & but i didn't dare to trust myself because i never felt confident about my thoughts and decisions sigh. i need to be confident about myself and my thoughts. all this while, my gut feelings are always right and most of the time, my gut feelings are the ones that are the right answers but i never trust myself because i didn't feel confident about what i feel sigh. i need to be more confident about my thoughts and feelings sigh ): and i can't adapt tpjc la. when i thought i adapted alre, something like that will happen to me & throw me back to square 1, just when i tried so hard to move out from square 1, to square 3-4, i am thrown all the way back and i am just like wth smh so done with life please.
today was just filled with ups and downs and i am just glad some things turned out such ways because we are finally able to see clearly what is right in front of us. so so tired today & and i am just going to go to bed now. tmr got another round of presentation and urgh, he selected our group as one of the group for mass presentation smh. sigh, so done with life but i can't quit just yet.... let's just pray it will be a better day tmr.... goodnight people
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