Hehe...I know I just blog like 2 hours ago, but I wanna write everything down since they are now fresh on my mind :D
Just watched Alvin and the chipmunk ^0^ it was truly extraordinary amazing awesome!!! :D especially when they wee singing the famous song like bad romance, fireworks, party rock anthem etc, truly feel the heat within them :P and when they were stranded on island, all the survival tips and the jokes they cracked really touched y heart and felt the friendship that was holding them together, so strongly(: I know this sounds sentimental, but these were all what I have found out as I watch the movie^^ it was totally worth it! :P hehe...anyway, I really recommend people to watch it and share the joy and laughter and the uniqueness between friends especially now it both involves boys and girls :P YAY (Y) well, watch it and you will love it, just like me!^^ shall end the review here, don't link so much story out! ;p
Tmr will be my leaving day, I will maye write one post at the airport before my flight(: so remb to catch it LOL hehe.. :P so for now, buaibuai(:

Day 3 guides camp Woke up late in the morning :p but was not late(: we had the world flag aka colours and it was kinda cool,i feel it. Hope that i will have the chance to do the colours as well one day :D After tat, had one full hour of drilling which totally leave me half dead and breathless...@_@ finally, the moment i had been waiting for throughout the entire camp, Yup! Patrol lunch and patrol outing!! ^0^ we went pastamania for lunch and i had creamy chicken and i swear i will never eat that again,so freaking yucky! X.X then later decided to spilt and go different ways(: And i finally bought moi new sch shoes!^^ and moreover,it is shoe laced de!~:D moi ever first pair!!^8^ (northstar is the brand) so freaking excited!(: can't wait to wear when sch reopens!!^~^ Hehe..d: and shop for a while den go home le.... Reflection: After today, i realised that guides camp was quite okay and i did learn something and make new friends(: And i have also truly bonded with my patrol members as well(: especially in pastamania, truly had tighten our friendship(: Yay! :D

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Today was the first day of guides camp. Everything ended smoothly and I am glad that I did not suffer from muscles aches :D woah! Too think I was slacking and feeding myself during the whole hols and I could still see my stamina there,quite unbelievable LOL (self-praise,thick-skinned)
Anyway,back to the main story, always got carried away...-.-
Started the day with all the admin stuffs before beginning the main activities. We had some bonding games first and it took me quite a while before I could be able to keep up the speed with my group. And I must truly said that my group members aka sec 2 seniors were damn awesome! :D they were so nice and sweet!^^ hehe... Den during lunch time, we had to fixed our own lunch and the time was tight so it was quite rushed though... But all in all, I still get to feed my tummy a bit :D haha...(P.S.I was the one in charge of the cooking,so zai right! LOL self-praise in action again-.-,can't stand myself at times as well .__.) after lunch, it was drilling time and I must truly said this-this was the most time I ever hentak for so long! :O but, the interesting part was I did not have a strand of dislikes nor tiredness OMG, this also shock myself too! Haha,well another accomplishment! I am so awesome!^^ (self-praise for the third time) and I also got the chance to use an axe and chop the wood(: totally used up 25% of my remaining energy! But still, it was a fun and meaningful experience YAY
Oh,and I finally got my total defense badge and also learnt how to tie my scarf ^0^ omg, what a great day! Many great(to me lah!) accomplishment was made! :D hehe; really proud of myself at times^^(Y)
On top of all these happiness, there is also some sad-ness. That is I nid 2 write a reflection(which needed to hand up tmr but due to some personal reasons, I will not be there) and also a card aka the angel bottle which I need to do, so yup, before I forget them again,need to jot it down on moi table(: Okay! The main and funny moments had ended and I also would like to write a small dedication abt u(:
Just like wht I have wrote in my previous post, I have decided to let him/her go, I shall too, let u off. I cannot hold on to you like how I did before, not only will u suffer but me ad well. You will feel so depressed and tired and so do I. Everything had to end now. We are still just like how we were but anything is possible in this world. I can never tell you wht will happen the next sec, next hour, next day,next week nor next year. Wht I can only do now is when the relationship between both of us is the best, the sweetest break up. This will do us both well. We will only remember the happy and memorable parts of each other and somehow, it will leave a mark in the mind, in the heart(: I think I am able to just remain the relationship with you now just like that. There is neither stepping forward nor backwarding, just there. So just like wht I have said and done previously, I will do the same thing again, I will let you go now but I will pray for u and wish you well(: jiayou(:


P.S. I actually was hoping that I could finish rushing this post out before 20/12, but apprently I can't, so yup. But nvm...at least,I have written my deepest feeling of my heart(:
My new year resolution: not only I am able to ace my studies, I must also learn to be decisive and chic. Everything will be solve in a quick yet effective way. No more being fickle and no more dragging of stuffs as well. It will all be in a not only efficient, but also will be as simple as possible(: jiayou! :D

Went out with my family today(: Bought something that i really want ed a long long time ago! Yup! A new earpiece and only with the price of $5! :O OMG so cheap!! hehe...my perseverance paid off! Well, i guess patience really does help us at times :D hehe..oh, and i finally got the chance of entering Mos Burger and had a try of the burger!^^ Results-so delicious!(: will go back for more^^ hehe..anyway, was a bit wasted i didn't bought that tee): Now regretted)): nvm..(: i am sure that is more even nicer de!(: 

And i shall now update my upcoming events now^^

Guides Camp 19/12-21/12->Appointment w/ NSC aka National Skin Centre 22/12->JAPAN TRIP 24/12-31/12^0^->Adventure Camp 4/1-6/1 :D yup! Busy week! oh, and i also need ot make a trip to NTUC to grab some veggie for the outdoor cooking on the second day of guides camp, so maybe i dun think i will have the time to blog until 2-3 weeks later! But, there is always exceptional for everything, so maybe i do have some little time to rush out another one! :D *finger crossed there was(:* 

AC is coming right up the very next week after my holidays so i can say that i have totally zero time for time to pack so maybe i can considering start my packing now..(got a long list to buy, OMG @_@) but luckily, i am ready for my trip so yup, i think i have adequate time to have my stuff ready before i fly off^^  Proud of myself! :P

Anyway, shall write a bit about you now :P

Though i have said that i am erased memories of you in my mind, but i think i do not want to be so   cruel, maybe i shall just keep this beautiful memory of you and me right under the bottom of my heart(: and named it the sentimental, a simple yet full of sweet-ness memory hid it deep down there(: Our lives is different, we have now become 2 parallel lines, so i think it is truly the time for me to let go and move on with my life. i shan't hold you back anymore, we are now both friends and strangers now. So,yup! Good bye for now! i hope in the next coming years, we are able to meet once more and it will just be another simple wave and smile(: i think i have make myself clear enough now, so i will wish you well and stay happy forever!(: Jiayou!(:

Was quite an interesting day today(: met someone and had one extraordinary day :D
Well, in order not to let anyone know abt whoever is this, shall name it 'wind' C:
Well, met her at ToaPayoh and saw her giving out flyers.. She didn't see me but I called out to her(: she was shocked when she saw me. Guess she did not expect anyone to found out abt wht she was doing. Nvm... I don't know if she was inferior or maybe she think that I would despise her, but I truly hope that she would never in her life cause I was way too admired by her actions. She was there earning her own pocket money and I am reaching out my hand. Suddenly, I felt myself so useless and I an nothing compare d to her situation. She was way too better than me in her life, in her character. I really salute her as she shown me that I am grumbling too much in life! Damn it! Now I am so ashamed of my life/: I am really a failure :C well, she shall be my role model in life from today onwards. Lesson learnt today: cherish everything I have and owned now!
This is one important and valuable thing in life!

Goin hols in 2 weeks time... Everyday is all abt preparing for the trip.. Nothing special.. Before i begin, shall break a good news^^ Me finally finished homework last week!:D truly amazing!^^ One thing down for her to nag at me(: Hehe.... Anyway, back to the main story; Your memories in my heart,my mind is fading(: i spent lesser time thinking of you and i guess we are not meant for each other(: we belong to two different world. We are forever apart(: i am glad things ended earlier i thought. I took two years to brain-wash my filthy mind,and also to filter things that does not really matter anymore,right?((: Well,this is my second time u appeared in my blog,my space. I dun know if this will be the last time, but i hope that if i can avoid,then avoid. I wanna drew clearly the lines between both of us. You and i the end. You are in the history. At here,i would like to write a sentence specially dedicate to you(: "i wish you happiness" Good bye(:

Life is disgusting now. Totally dread it. Dun even understand why did i still have the breathe to live it...

Everyday is meaningless to me. It makes me feel that i am out of the world, totally zero link to it.  Cant take it any longer. Every min, i have the urge to break down. Totally hate it. 

i maybe looking strong and cheerful, always the most hyper one. but deep down in side me, my heart is fragile, it is tearing and it is crashing down every time and trying to reconcile once more. i am sick and tired of this kind of life. i dun want this any longer. i wanna change so badly. but, when will i ever have the chance to do it?! 

everyday is a disaster for me. nothing will go with me, everything is turning against me, putting all the blame all upon me! dun even know the reason why am i still here...

trying really hard to make myself stronger, but it always seemed pointless...

somehow, i am feeling despised! it is truly sickening!

i am not any super hero or wonder woman, i am just ordinary girl who want someone to care for me, shower me the love and happiness and joy that everyone wants..is it really that hard...

every morning i wake up, i will always to do my very best to do my job and tasks. i don't need you to give me praises or rewards, but i just want that at least i am being seen by my hard work, i just want a simple, 'Thank you'. it can truly make my day. but, instead of that, you gave me some shit ratter of your own nonsense and started reprimanding me for all the mistakes i have taken . i truly hate life now. 

everyone needs freedom ,so do i. stop locking me up like your pet bird. i wanna at least have my own say abt my own life. this is mine, not yours. you cant even lead your life properly, so stop ordering me around like your maid! 

do you know that every time, you said something hurtful or just simply wronged abt my actions, all the words adn actions just pierced through my heart, and leaving a mark that forever. i don't expect a word of apology but can you at least show me some respect as well?! i am a human , i do have feelings! So, please stop telling me all your big rules and great truths of life when you are showing me a good example abt them. saying much will never help, it will just be my another post of you, crushing my life. shall stop here. cant continue, the tears are coming soon.....

Was really wasting my life this few days... Pratically nothing meaningful was done... Tried to set a goal and plan, but it will be game over later on...): Though all this, I think there is still things that are changing.... Everything includes me, my family, friends even the life I am having now.... Pathetic me): Can't blame the holidays... Only could blame myself.... Yup! It is all my fault. Totally have no resistance against temptations! Damn it! A total failure! ): Anyway, back to the main story... Shall talk abt u first... Well,there are many reasons now we are drifting apart. I understand that. Partly is my fault too. I am unable to be there 24/7 for you,unable to suit u always, plans could never be carried out. Now, we are not like before. Our personality and character is also way different now. Well, you can say, we were not so close anymore...I can sense that somehow, there is someone replacing me and taking over my place in your heart. The weightage is stronger in her now. I am not jealous neither paranoid. Maybe things could have happened in the middle that cause the distance now. Actually, when I am writing this, I was on the verge of crying. Maybe u did not feel it, think it or see it. Maybe you think I am just thinking too much. Maybe u think I am just creating problems. But, have u ever wonder, putting yourself in my shoes? I dun knw will u be reading this, but I just wnanna let u knw tat, you can make new friends, I am not rights to forbid you from tat, but can I ask a favourite frm u, can u please at least maybe like put me into your considerations as well? That meanseverytime maye u guys wanna go out or anything, can u just ask me? Maybe u will knw the reason but dun let me feel that I have been forgotten or neglected. I dun wanna see our friendship gone to drain just like that....so, can I have this favourite from you? Haiz...okay, your story had ended. Now, it is your tun. Sometimes, I really can't stand u, but I knw everything u do is for my own good and you wan me 2 be good. All this I understand that! But, at times, I truly need your permission to set me free. I know maybe u will think that I am asking too much.. But can u like stop pressuring me? Haiz...it is really hard to talk abt u now... In this kind of place... Shall end your story here Lastly, me. Talking abt me, i have tons to say. Shall talk abt one recent new first. I have gotten my blood test report and I am an A+(: (teehee) And I think I am crazy le, these few days.... Unable to control my own body, my own thinking. Seriously think the brain is useless now. Totally unable to function properly.... Haiz...secondly, my life is in a total mess... Truly wanna find someone to help me tidy and clear up....i think i am dying. Totally have zero directions abt my life. Man! Wht kind of life am i living in?! I dun think i cn understand myself anymore. Everything is in a mess.i am sick and tired of my own life. Damn it! Fuck! Can anyone help me? I am on the verge of death. I have now zero control of my life. I think i am not fit to have it or customize it any longer.... Wht shld i do?!?!)):