Pathetic Me; Pathetic March Hols

Sun; concert night. The day was rather productive and unproductive. Productive in terms of spiritual growing & unproductive in terms of academics growing lmao. Spent another afternoon Skype with chuken & yeap, did slightly more for econs also. At night concert was also alright. Initially, it's quite bleh and the humour is there but not much, but as the programme continues on, it gets better and yes, the last segment is the best omg. Indeed, the experienced ones are still the best. It was so hilarious and entertaining. I laughed so hard at the end and finally enjoyed the performance afterwards. Supper was next & we had dim sum and me had my fav 叉烧包 omg freaking love it so much 😍😍
And yes, I went to watch 相声，以笑声纪念马季，相声之夜
Sidetrack: Oh ya, and on sat me and chuken had some an intense heart to heart & we shared so many many more stuff abt each other, and it was so intense to the point that we became so raw towards each other and omg, it's always in the middle of the night we will have such convo omg :')) but sigh, Skype with chuken is one of the amazing thing in my life seriously. It's so productive when it comes to spiritual growing in this way omg.

🍇🍇: nalan texted me in the night with this, 'Wow... you really have a lot of suitors..' & the moment I saw that, I internally started panicking and texted chuken, SOS omg. Like omg I was so so scared he saw that and like this will happen but I kept on consoling myself that he liked that photo already & way beforehand so he won't know abt it, plus I'm sure his timeline will push everything down. BUT NO OMG NO. He went back to my ig and then he saw the comments omg 😢😢😢
And he also added that other then names listed on my ig post, in general I also have admirers................... And I'm just like U NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW U KNOW ABOUT THIS (oh ya, I dumb af, I should have asked how does he feel abt this situation right HAHAHAHAHA)
(oh ya, nalan stalked me so much and now he blatantly liking my old photos and telling me that he's stalking me right in my face friends 🤗🤗)
And I just felt so bad and omg, you're the last person that I want you to see the comments omg wth seriously. And friends, this ship is getting out of hand and it's starting to bother me quite a bit. People really needs to stop wth omg 🙄🙄
And then I kind of had to explain myself, telling him that it's just a joke by my friends & then yeah, words of mouth telling him that I'm truly rather well-known and that it's like I do have a few people that like or eye candy me and all..... But !!!!!!! Idiot nalan omg 😶 out of everyone that came up to me, you're the only one that I'm reciprocating you know. I picked you out of all omg.. And then I didn't want you to have the wrong idea of me wth 😶😶 and it's like I kind of have to tell you not to have the wrong idea omg ......... when if you're someone else, I probably wouldn't be giving a shit alre omg. You better get the hint okay when I tell you don't get the wrong idea omg 😮😮
And the feeling of being admired by many is yes good, and this's telling you that you have good taste too 😛😛 HAHAHAHAHAHA
Okay, out of the point but just know that, at this stage, you're different compared to everyone ☺️🤗
okay I need to get out because this's way too embarrassing for me to admit omg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon; woke up late and was supposed to wake up early in the morning to study but then urgh, just couldn't wake up omg. Woke up 11plus and then rushed through chinese homework and then prepared to get ready to leave house for lessons. Was late for lessons omg fml seriously -/-
Thankfully, chinese lesson was so productive omg, like 2 hours of real discussions and then I legit felt that it was so damn good omg 😢😢 and then was called by chinese drama people bc they needed extra manpower for their performance lmao so retarded. But didn't join for some reasons. Like I can't dance for nuts and then I don't feel the real excitement to perform and freaking hell all the same nationality, feel so out abt it & actually, I don't want to crash it with something else or my studies la wth urgh urgh urgh
Then wanted to leave sch alre, but kind of want to say hi to friends so I went to the field and only to find an Isabelle all alone omg. And then, me Angie and Isabelle we talked for a while, talking abt so many random things omg. But it was okay la, the fact that we made Isabelle feel much better is enough then. We talked and bitch also omg, so random and impromptu but oh well, it's girls HAHAHAHAAH
And then the Joel and jieai ship needs to stop omg seriously. I'm even more disturbed right now bc nalan sort of knew abt it wth seriously.
And omg my Starbucks tumblr broke what even and then came Nex to exchange for one & decided to study there a bit also. Rather productive and did both chi and econs (surprisingly omg) so going home to continue (hopefully can continue this streak also seriously)
Daily updates of nalan: 🍇 < friends, from now onward I'm going to use this emoji to talk abt him, so basically; 'daily updates of nalan' = 🍇
Bc I freaking like purple & I wanted to use 🍎 but 🍎 has like a second meaning so I'm just like 🙄
OKAY SO YES FIRST 🍇:
Friends I did it omg :') I asked him abt religion issues, something that has been bothering me for some time but I choose to push it away and actually kind of run away from this issue bc I'm just to afraid to talk abt it seriously fml omg :( I'm sorry friends.
But omg, this convo regarding religion with him was so so good & it was like a reassurance on me and i really feel that, he's really genuine about the whole thing right here omg :') kind of starting to feel his sincerity omg ☺️☺️😛
Okay, basically I asked him, is he a devoted Christian & how does he feel abt two different religious people coming together. And his answer was he's not lmao bc he pon church for books last year and then he feel that, character values and mindsets matter more & freaking hell, (his answer make me happy omg fml)
And I was just like omg shit guys this's getting real omg cry die me HAHAHAHA
And then he asked for my opinions and I just told him abt how I feel & my fear towards this issue, like the unwanted examples around me also fml. He asked if I'm alright to share abt those examples, so I told him abt my extended family, papa side & also some friends of mine that are devoted af & forced people to join Christianity and that makes me real uncomfortable abt it omg urgh
& he told me abt Christianity having different kind so it's like he's not the real devoted kind and he's a charismatic Christian so it's like they don't force people and they mind their own business (the way he describe it lmao) HAHAHAH
And omg he went abt actually religion doesn't define people and you can't say a Buddhist for doing good deeds his entire life  wrong nor either a Christian that committed a crime sending him to heaven just bc of his religion. What matters most is the mindset that will define our afterlife and I was just like, guys I need a moment right now and I legit felt so touched and reassured in me omg like urgh, why is he so mature right now because this makes him so attractive and then I just felt that yes, I need a guy that's legit mature omg 😢☺️😢☺️ and yes, I know that he will definitely do stupid things with me (I have faith in that 😛😛) HAHAHAHAHAHA
And I was touched so I told him that I'm so thankful for this and that it's such a sensitive issue that I really dislike talking abt it omg and then the fact we can talk abt this allow me to feel so much better abt this issue right now omg :') & yes of course I agree with everything he said duh
HHAHAHAHAHA
And yeah he just sent ☺️☺️ but later he texted me again, asking if I'm really alright abt having a non-christian partner, and after consulting chuken, I told him as long as religion doesn't impose much in it, I'm fine with it.
AND OMG U BETTER GET THE HINT OKAY ; making sacrifices alre shit what am I going to become if I enter a relationship shit la ):
So yeap, 🍇 for the day ☺️☺️

Tues; omg another unproductive day urgh. Barely started on human geo wth and then I'm so behind schedule alre omg -/- and actually, didn't wanted to follow mama and papa around but kind of can't really say it out loud so I'm just following them all around urgh. Went to office also didn't do much. Only completed econs policies and then legit just started flipping through human geo. it's not ever screwed for SA. I'm probably going to flunk every single subject again OMG OMG
And like nothing much also the entire day today but last night was rather fun, because critically criticising the juniors proposal is I think one of my life entertainment right now. The intelligence level is legit real and I applaud for their marvellous efforts that they put into the proposal. Every single line is an error and rationales or even work plan is utter bullshit and I'm just like, are you seriously going to hand up this to us? Do you really want us to accept this kind of true bullshit piece of work? :-))))
🍇🍇: nalan is an amazing person :)
After knowing him & talking to him, he don't bother hiding anymore and then he tells me straight in my face that, 'hey every now and then I will look through your entire ig feed over and over again & randomly I will press a like on your photos, even though they're ten thousands years ago' 🤗🤗
So I went to tell him that, he needs to stop being so obvious with him stalking me or did he deliberately like those photos HAHAHAHAHAHA
And yeah, he gave me a yup 😇😇😇
Ha ha ha .....

Wed; econs lesson in the morning, super sleepy but I pull through. Really productive econs lessons because we did consolidation omg. Then, went for Prata lunch but only drank warm lemon tea, so freaking nice omg. Then, stayed back in sch and study. Fell asleep somewhere & but so glad, I finally started on case studies researching, and though only one found, but at least completed one side :')
Skype chuken till late 3plus, 4 because we had updates regarding nalan
HAHAHAHAHAHA
🍇🍇: so impromptu but we texted for 2 hours straight in the night & then we talked abt so many things omg I cannot. The convo just escalated so much but omg it was damn fun la hahaha. And then suddenly, we might be meeting up on fri oh wow seriously HAHAHAHA
And we talked abt so many things omg, we were talking abt academics, and then suddenly studying together. And then convo switched again and we have Alan jealous over Joel when I have no idea why 😂 but it was a sight I swear. Bc he was jealous over someone that he completely don't have to worry at all. And we also talked abt Lena, and I realised he's savage af friends :-) he was so mean but it was so funny I swear, I died laughing and culture shock a bit because I was definitely not expecting this side of you hahahaha. Oh we shared each other contact saving method, I was kind of expected abt how he saved it, and it turned out it was the combination of that I imagined it. And lmao, so embarrassed to share how I save his seriously. He even questioned did I save his number, Wah this one rude kid on so many level I cannot. HAHAHAHAHAHA
It kind of make him happy because he was capsing nalaaaaaaan and then he was excited over it. And omg, we found that ☺️☺️☺️ is our fav emoji and I was just like..... Wow okay, sounds great friends 🤗 and yes, I kind of hinted to him & chuken said that its damn obvious so I'm just like, 'since it's so obvious to everyone, U BETTER IT OKAY PLEASE'
And the fact that I quickly clarify the mistake between me and Joel speaks a lot omg seriously. And I had to keep on telling him that he's special and rare kid omg. But I can't tell him also that he's actually the one and only person I'm reciprocating towards fml. Wah, just with this fact he seriously should feel so honoured and don't have to be jealous over anyone alre please.
Adrenaline rush for him and then he couldn't sleep. And I was also kind of high because he was mean and funny altogether. And ya, while we were talking abt Lena, I told him I was dying & he ask me to live with it; and I continued I'm surviving, are you proud of me yet? And his reply was, 'I'm always proud of you' ☺️☺️ and omg after finding out that's both our fav emoji, he uses the emoji even more & he is just throwing it into everywhere of the convo I swear omg 😂
Oh and fri, he texted me again, confirming if fri is still on. But omg, he sounded much more excited than me & I told him I haven't tell my mum yet, but will try to make fri possible :) and yes, he gladly replied 'yes i am!!!!'
& yup, bc of the unwanted commenting on that ig post, I finally deleted the comments & changed my captions. And our dear nalan just had to comment ☺️ below it and I'm just like, 'Alan, you really needs to stop' 😛😛

Thurs; stay-home day. Spent the entire day with human geo lmao, but the progress is not much also fml seriously. But Skype with chuken was priceless omg so much fun I swear :3
And then more human geo in the afternoon & legit QUITE nervous abt tmr. Like its d-1 fml. Freak friends, IT IS JUST A STUDY DATE WHAT ARE YOU DOING OMG SHIT

Fri; d-day & for more information, please scroll down to the previous post. One word: amazing ☺️☺️
Skype chuken & talked so much abt it, and I was blushing unknowingly & I'm just like....jieai, you need to maintain hahahah

Sat; went out to study with Hidayah. Relatively productive somewhat because at least I completed maths ...... But my physical geo omg... someone bless that shit right now.... I don't even wanna say how bad that is seriously it's literally fuck my life omg wth..... It's completely non-existent ha ha ha.
Told Hidayah the entire story as well (that wasn't part of the plan actually & but it was a rather fun study date omg :')) & in the night, watched a bit of goong and honestly no regrets I swear fml, it was so nice & sweet omg
And uncomfortable sat continues on oh well...
🍇🍇: we texted nalan for help for maths & he called me to explain the solutions to me. He almost came down wth lmao stupid Hidayah tsk. But oh well, thankfully he didn't oh dear god. He said he wanted to pop by, and omg I stopped him.
& he texted me again last night, telling me to sleep early so yeap! (and I felt that was really sweet of him sigh ....)

Sun; last day before my death. study date with weiran today. Memo & revise a few of my econs stuff but sigh how much I am able to retain is another story seriously fml omg....
Tmr is the d-day and the start of my death.
This entire week of March holiday was so so bad and tragic and pathetic fml. It's so disgusting and disturbing & I really wanna run away so so much.
Everyday is a repeat of story feeling sick inside + disgusting + nauseous + lack of concentration + pathetic state of productivity level urgh so damn annoying I swear...
Honestly can't wait for the week to end already wtf, I want my Good Friday break fml :(
& I told weiran abt fri also, third person.
And then nalan ask if we wanna go out & have fun, and I'm like don't you have church hahah.
Legit hope that whatever I studied is coming out and it's like I just wanna pass but at the same time, I wanna stay in her so I'm just like fuck life seriously urgh.
But omg so happy today because, I finally remb the feeling of hunger omg :'))) it has been one week since I fee hungry omg yes going home to food right now woohoo!!
🍇🍇: nalan texted all the best to me & he said to give me a treat if I do well this time, & my pathetic definition of doing well is just to pass everything fml (I feel even more of loser I swear, this legit sucks urgh)

Please pray for me tmr & the remaining week ahead and just let me get through it omg......

'Give me the strength & power to fight on, I am losing them....'

//