Tbh really want to write a post abt orientation and abt all the things that happened, both good and bad but I know that will take probably another 3-4 hours or so right here.
Plus, after orientation, there's actually also cny to write about tbh and all the shit I went through myself and internally oh well.
Then after cny, came burdensome CA and also all the work I had to catch up. 2 weeks flew by just like that, and today I'm on my way to SIM. Apart from going there, it was more of i tagging along with weiran & I really wanna spend some time with her. Plus so many things happened also lmao, so much to say.
But tbh, the craziest few days will definitely be this week. And it's like even life is giving me a good reward or otherwise, making someone happy.
24/2 morning, I passed nalan my number and then for three days straight, we texted each other and then it was not a continuous text but actually more of there was a stop everyday. But what surprises me was, it wasn't as awkward as I thought/expected l, but it was rather interesting as we share info about ourselves to each other. Okay, maybe more of he telling me info abt myself & I'm just impressed and shocked that's all. But turn out he scrolled all the way down, like 700plus posts and I just felt like giving up because it was all foetus days :')))))))
Honestly, I'm not sure if i like him or what but I can tell you that his impression that he has created and given to me is really fine and that, he's polite and all. He's also cautious and definitely freaking scared to say the wrong things to me 😂 & him freaking out when I didn't reply him suddenly was probably one of the entertaining thing omg.
Guys, I have never seen so much that text so efficient before I swear. Hahaha, I told him I couldn't text outside so he saw that text and then he sent me a text message. And then I replied that text message, freak a reply came literally instantaneously. I was like omg. And then when I told him I could WhatsApp, freak omg his message came in already what even. And then he asked me stuff and questions, wah genius guys. He don't really give me a chance to reply, and it's like I tried to finish talking the front part, his reply came in again and I was like you genius la. But okay, he's nice, really nice :3
And yes friends, I did combined assembly for the very first time in my life hahaha.
Heart was trembling and beating so fast omg and I was freaking out la wth hahaha. Was so happy there was no announcement but no way man, wendy goh created two announcements so I had to read them all and this actually made my heart beat even faster omg wth. But lmao, the view is really different up there and all the little people we see are just so cool and I'm just so fascinated that's all. but hey, it was a good experience and with that, we can safely say that we completed all various places for morning assembly woohoo ¥.¥
Basically those two weeks, CA killed me so much like urgh. The moment when I was back from cny, it was all hell lot of work & entertaining teachers. And then while trying to catch up with all the work, I still had to settle many other shit like council work & people problems.
Then, it was just a mad rush of CA and humans. Seriously can't really remb a lot of stuff alre omg.
orientation 2016 was just two words: unforgettable and bittersweet.
Legit went through so much to the point that I felt that I stretched myself to the point that I can't bring myself back anymore. So stretched, so painful, so drained, so worn out, so tiring and so so so done with orientation and all. I don't want to rant abt anyone because I felt that everyone has their own fair share of pressure and burden so yeah. I was the family master & aic of welfare comm. Double the role, double the responsibility, double the pain, double the trouble, but sigh, double the mixed feelings & double the cray cray. Honestly, I never regret taking up the double roles. I just felt so drained after the entire day and all. Orientation 2016 is seriously the best memory I could ever had for my entire education life. It was a journey of painstaking moments filled with so much emotions and feelings. I survived orientation guys. I can't believe it I swear. I don't think I will forget any single thing abt orientation. But one thing that's a slight pity on my part was I don't really have an og and yeah, I kind of want an og to myself but sigh because of my roles, so yeah I forsake that part. And also yeah, to keep jeevan company. And lmao, after this orientation, jeevan and I become so close and we are really really great working partners right now. We helped each other out and keep each other in check. We support each other and I really feel that we compliment each other though. It was really a great working experience together and okay la, the opportunity cost of spending so much time with jeevan, is probably not having an og that's all. Did so much washing & cleaning during orientation as well. Had so many first time as well.
But yeah, of course everything has the double sides. The positive and negative sides. Was being questioned and unknowingly pissed people off so much during orientation. Don't know what I did but oh well, they hate/dislike/disagree with me but idk, they're all in the past and I honestly can't do anything right now to turn things back again. I can't do anything anymore. I just hope we are all able to put it at the back of our mind and just continue on like this. Because i really don't want to lose anyone or anything, I don't want to lose Prometheus. I fight so hard for my Prometheus, and I have so much pride in this family, this colour. I can really be so proud to say that I'm the family master of the purple family, Prometheus.
And orientation was so painful because after all the shit I went through in school, I came home for a second round. It was plain annoying and plain disturbing. Like I can't really explain myself also and I can't stand it anymore either. Everyday was just a repeat of all the painful stories. So sickening & so disgusting I swear. It was so annoying but I never really tell anyone about it. I really don't want to view as a weakling and view as a useless bum. I want to be independent and tough and strong. I want to fight against all these odds. But what was disturbing was people telling me that I'm incompetent and people are stepping over me. I wanted to give all up again and not do this anymore sigh. Because I genuinely can't take it anymore. No more already. But oh well, I overcome all those and become who I'm right now.
I'm not sure if I really emerge as one winner, but one thing for sure, I'm thankful and grateful for all these opportunities given and memories given :')))
After orientation, the next day was cny celebration in school. It was a simple celebration and ms koh bought food for the class. And then a louhei ceremony. Much cheering and happiness as everyone is still in the midst of all the orientation happiness and crazy feelings. But sigh, it was a rather bad day because of all the things that weiran tell me & all the negativity lmao. And of course mama back home again woohoo :-)
cny was fun, relaxed, chill and so so so comforting for both my body and mind. I wasp so thankful mama forced me back home because I think I will break down in sg. I went back, eat sleep eat sleep and recharged myself so well. I didn't study nor revise for anything at all and all I did was just having fun and taking care of my very own welfare. I didn't do much shit also and I went a lot of lazing around. I also withdraw myself from all social media and social interactions as well. I did so much reflections back in malaysia and yeah, I felt even more awful about myself. And shit and stuff and probably every single thing. But thankful for comforting and real encouraging words so that actually made my trip extra rewarding and comforting :') this cny wasn't much house visiting or meeting up my relatives, but it was recharge, giving myself some time again & spending some self time once again. More than thankful for this one week break. It allows me to run away from all the unhappiness & sorrows and just be myself all over again :')))
Oh yes, s06 guy came running to me on the day that I was back to sch after cny. I was all alone that day and then he just came running up to my face and then he somewhat confessed to me ...... Like he said he has been noticing me and then he think that I'm cute and he think he like me la, and he wanted my number but freak it was so awkward wth seriously. And then all his friends were at the back omg urgh embarrassing af seriously. I was so uncomfortable and I was thinking of how to reject him seriously. I just said number another time but I will say hi to him in school. And for the first few days, I ran away so much and pretended I didn't see him lmao because I'm so freaking scared I swear.
And ya, but actually after texting nalan those few days, I don't feel anymore thing and I could actually say hi to him in school lmao. So retarded.
And then, one day our class was kind of fighting with his class for the classroom, and of course we had econs lesson (duh it's delphine friends) so we got the classroom. And then his class was I guess having a break and then they left the classroom, and he was all the way at the back so he said hi to me and I smiled back, and freak my life seriously. I heard a super loud 'YES' and there was so much cheering at the back and then I'm just like, omg jieai don't turn back don't freaking turn back I swear.
LAST WEEK:
Mon-Wed; honestly can't remb what happened these few days alre sigh, but yeah was just so caught up with CA sigh and yeah human geo was full of bullshit la annoying urgh
Thurs; freaking stupid I swear. Early in the morning I cut myself with the council room door (& actually I cut myself because I was a bit on cloud nine thinking of nalan what even, going to blame him next time) and then was bleeding non-stop, ms koh saw me and then she brought me out & to the GO as well. It was so ridiculous and funny and that's why I couldn't stop laughing at the entire situation the whole time. Joel saw me leaving the audi and he was worried so it was immediately morning assembly, he rushed out and then he was really concern about me omg I felt so bad ;'( and ya, I wore lena slippers the entire day and was limping the entire day also. Freaking painful and all but I was alright luh. When going home, everyone was so worried and kept on telling me to go and see the doc. Joel mama sent me home too. And actually a misunderstanding occurred. Apparently Zhonghhg was angry and pissed off at me. But sigh, okay it was partly my fault also. But yeah, I seriously didn't mind hopping my entire way home but then it started becoming more painful during the evening time. And it was even more painful than the entire day. So yeah, took his mum car home and Joel was so worried abt me to the point that I felt so shit abt myself sigh ):
And then I kind of expressed my concern that my parents won't send me to doc and Joel even wanted to send me to doc before sending me home omg. But ya, I was really surprised that papa was more worried than mama and yeah, I was immediately send to doc after bathed and dinner. Got a jab too fml seriously. The hand was literally numb and temporarily disabled the very next day. But yeah, such an eventful day I can't believe it guys.
Fri; limp all the way to school and was flipping around with slippers also the entire day. Council meeting was alright and I spent the time before the meeting doing some work. Meeting was alright just couldn't stop limping the entire day lmao. And then was super happy because mama and papa decided to go to ikea and yes they're coming to pick me up :3 super happy la but was limping in ikea so I'm just like ........
Dinner was really good and satisfying and then even bought my childhood ice-cream woohoo
Oh ya, while waiting for mama papa, was texting Alan a bit and then he asked me personality test and stuff. And he told me his and I went to did it once again, I realised we are quite incompatible lmao & we ain't very matched oh well. And ya, while reading through the various personalities and stuff, mama came and jeevan was like saying and telling me to be careful and all, and I just jokingly asked, if he wanna escort me and lmao, him and joachim legit got up friends hahaha. And ya, joachim carried my bag too. And ya before I left, I shouted thanks and have a good day and all. Mama then added, saying that we have two popular people at home. One attract all the girls and everyday hang out with the girls, another one have different guys around lmao what even.
Sat; supposedly to go Sim with weiran but after meeting us, the immediate the change of plans to go somewhere else. We went to Suntec instead and we spent so much time catching up and honestly, though it was a change of plans, it was no regrets and it was really fun. Got a hell bad of scolding before and after the day out but yeah, honestly I will do it again.
Sun; catch up of more work & more annoying shit in life also.
THIS WEEK:
Mon; was rather alright also la but yeah, this entire week I was wearing slippers to school because a noob jieai cut herself with the council room door I swear wah damn dumb I cannot. And then, because it was mon, I had morning duty so I had to wear shoes first and then wear slippers later. Wah, damn annoying. Stupid traffic jam, what the flying fuck. I almost couldn't made it for duty so annoying please what the heck. And ya, I ended the day, going home with Joel & we talked about so much abt weiran and Cleon so freaking funny I swear and yeah, we finally cleared all the weird misunderstandings and build on so many rapport among the both of us lmao hahaha.
And fml, justin han shouted my name out loud omg fucking embarrassing I swear seriously wth.
Tues; normal day and ya, I met him again guys, s06 guy. And I have no idea why la, I seriously keep on seeing him fml. And fml, I scored the lowest for chinese and fucking got a U for it seriously. And then I went for consultation after lessons, and while trying to finish my work, s06 walked across the table and yes he's was the last one. So yeah, I had to say hi la duh but before that I tried not to look up but sigh, the timing was bad so oh well. But the day was alright & I was extremely excited for road run the very next day.
Wed; road run. Was excited for road run because no school day and actually liked this kind of event here and there. But what kept me even more excited is lunch later with chuken. Road run was fun, really fun. Like I cheered for my friends and also enjoyed my road walk too. And I got Joel to help me take Milo yay. And then it was so much laughing and chit-chatting yay friends. And omg friends, I swear I didn't know that s06 is same house too omg. Freak la wth. And then I had to pretend I didn't see him the whole time please give me a break right now friends.
And actually, the craziest thing was actually to get Cleon and weiran to say hi to each other. But guess what friends, they took a photo together !!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG that escalated so quickly omg and freak la, the photo damn funny because Cleon face was dying of happiness but like had to maintain a bit that kind lmao. HAHAHAHAHA
Me and Joel were just celebrating so much la wth, okay because the original plan was just to say hi and apologise lmao cannot take it seriously.
AND OMG I NEED TO RANT ABOUT THIS FREAK MY LIFE OMG
& why are people so weird I cannot. Urgh, that s06 guy freak my life. After road run, he came walking towards my direction & then I was like, omg he won't ask for anything from me right, was trying to avoid him the entire day alre wth. And then I wanna have the last straw of faith in humanity but no bitch, life loves to prove you wrong all day err day :-)))
He freaking asked for a photo with me and then he even suggested going to somewhere less crowded and I'm just like, no bitch lets just settle RIGHT NOW and be so done and over with it omg seriously ㄱ.ㄱ
And then ya duh, I took the photo with him but it was so awkward and embarrassing because i don't want to be mean but I'm so uncomfortable at the same time oh god.... And then after the photo, he asked me to QC, so I just take a look and yeah, say it's okay & he shamelessly ask if I want the photo, and I'm just like no, it's alright. U FREAKING IDIOT U THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT U WANT OMG GET OUT OMG
And lunch was probably one of the decisions I made in life seriously :'))) we had such a great heart-to-heart and then we shared so much abt each other that I missed this our times so much, like so so much. And after that day, I love chuken even more than any moment right now. Thank you chuken. I really really love you so much right now :')))
Korean food + bingsu + heart2heart = I couldn't ask for anything more else.
Thurs; was alright and it was another normal day but I died so much because so sleepy and tired and tbh, in the night I was feeling rather nervous and anxious, for many reasons. Was worried for some of my friends that took h1 Mother tongue, but also actually more worried for nalan. Sigh, he have to do well because he had so much high hopes omg. I texted him in the night also, saying like good luck & all the best and all, and yeah he replied thanks and all. And he had to add see you tmr. I kind of purposely didn't wrote that because he is coming back to collect results and so I shouldn't be hoping too much but oh well, he said that so I just replied see you hahah.
Oh ya, and during break time, Justin Han came to our table and was like talking to Hidayah and all. He just randomly said something and mentioned my name so I just lifted up my head and he just act shock like, 'omg sorry' and I'm just like ---.--- annoying af seriously. And then before we left, he just had to 'bye jieai' and I'm just like OMG STOP IT ANNOYING AND ME DO NOT WANT A SINGLE BIT RELATED TO U SO GET OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW DISGUSTING SHIT LA SERIOUSLY OMG
Friday was results release. I met nalan (duh) because he had to come back to collect results anyway. He scored a rank points of 80 but he was slightly disappointed because he did better for prelims & most of his friends that did worse than him previously did better for As. I genuinely think he did very well though friends. And it's like tbh, the more I think about him, the more I question what does he see in me omg. Alan is smart, hardworking, tall, flat, fit and healthy. And the best part is, I'm N O N E......
& then during results release, the hall atmosphere was so bad that I was so scared like omg.... It was so serious and tense and worrisome. Everyone was crying and cheering for various reasons. It was to the point that I'm so confused at the benchmark right now. Like so what's good and what's bad. I asked around, 70plus average rank point is freaking low and bad, and honestly your choices are considered limited. And ya, I'm so so scared for my As right now.
SA is in freaking 2-3 weeks and honestly, I am negative zero percent ready, I'm so so scared for SA. I failed all my CA btw, every single subject. And then I really have to at least do decent you know. Decent so that I can secure a peaceful parent meeting & hopefully, enter hatp. Friends, I wanna enter hatp. And I really wanna do well right now for As. And tbh, partly because of nalan as well... Like he's doing so freaking well that I feel so shit about myself....
And so many seniors didn't do well on Friday so I'm really confused and lost right now.
And ya, and then nalan believed that I will do well & that I'm really good and all. Sigh, even Joel said that omg...... But idk man I really don't know...... It's so awful I swear this feeling... It's so annoying la wth.
And guys, I need to talk abt that nalan omg, seriously 롤롤롤롤롤
Because he was rather worried abt his results and expectations, that made me feel bad about myself so I feel that I wanna talk to him and all. So I kind of called him and then he didn't picked up and he called back later. But yeah, he said we text so I was alright. And then I send him an encouragement text telling him he's good and all, and yeah he replied back saying thanks and all. And then after he sent that, 5mins later, he texted 'jieai' and I was like freak something serious/bad is coming, and guys do you know what that genius said? 'jieai, you look really pretty when you smile' and I was just like that genius guys. Freak !!! He's so disappointed at his results but he never forget to flirt with me la wth. And then I was like omg since you can say that, you're alright alre right? And yeah, ya la definitely much better, so sweet how to not to be okay. And I was just like wah that genius seriously. I can't believe it wth omg.
And guys, that s06 guy don't stand a chance anymore lmao because nalan is the answer already :3
But idk though, later as the days go by, nalan might realise he doesn't like me and he just mistaken this feelings that's all. And that, eventually we realise we ain't matched and we really can't be together.
I still can't get over the religion shit la wth so annoying.
Urgh, and my weekends are gone btw. I came back and kind of went around for home fair & housewarming party. It was fun but sigh, at the back of the mind, genuinely cannot stop worrying sigh, so freaking sickening omg.......
Something on the bright side; everyone said I lost weight so :')))
Random stuff;
Recently, me and Joel got closer because of legit various reasons. Like we initially have a common topic because of Rachel and Wesley & now we have, weiran and Cleon. The thing is I'm close to Rachel, and Joel is close to Wesley. Similarly, I'm close to weiran and now, he's close to cleon. And because of these two pair, these two people become close friends and we share info abt each other and the background info lmao hahaha freak my life seriously. We are building our friendship based on other people relationship what even
And ya, another random thing too btw, Joel complimented me so much abt my face and then he said I'm really really pretty and that, I'm not just alright but I'm really pretty. Honestly, I felt really flattered and then of course, it's nice to hear compliments and I'm genuinely touched by those words :')))
And yeah, he gave me a new name; unconventional jieai :-)
and this's probably the longest post I ever had because it seriously comprises of so many things and I'm just penning down everything on my mind that's all. I really don't know how much I still remb or how much I haven't written. But yeah, I haven't been blogging for so long and I felt so sad on my part. I feel so bad for not updating my life and leaving a mark on somewhere regarding my life. I think I will learn to write to down somewhere or on the go so that I can continue to record my life.
Okay for now, here's some of the things here. Might continue to add on should I remb any.
Till now, signing off right now.
'Can I have someone to come and take me right now & together, let's run away from this land & run towards our tomorrow land together'
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