Mon; nothing out of the ordinary but go home gang 2.0 was the highlight of the day ☺️☺️ love love go home gang so much because they're the reason why I pulled through mon and thurs :')))
And ya, probably one of the rather productive night because not only I completed what I wanted to achieve, and even did a bit more like omg, and even finished my weekly shows guys woohoo.
And the call with chuken was hoping that things will get better for him & just hearing him out a bit :))
Chuken, if you're reading this; this's for you alright !!!
'Remb, you're stronger than you seemed, smarter than you think, and better than you know. To me, you're the best just right now :)
No matter how tough & how painful everything is, do note that you ain't alone alright πͺπͺ
& ever since day1, you're my telepathic buddy & one of my really important friend around. And I will never traded you for anything else. Love you so so much πππ'
Daily updates abt nalan: in the afternoon he texted me 'hey jieai' and I replied 'hey Alan' but there was nothing else afterwards; and then suddenly out of nowhere, 11plus in the night, he texted 'I keep on thinking abt you' and I was just like ...... you freaking genius kid la wth. But I didn't know what to reply though so I just laugh it out and then said something else lmao. Guys, I still remb when I first saw the thing, I just pressed down my phone, dropped my pen and grabbed my head because I couldn't believe what he texted me omg!!!!!!!! But ya, I just felt so flattered & weird at the same time la hahah oh well ....... I mean what do you want me to do right hahah...
Tues; so burdensome the entire day because every single teacher that came in, like I really mean each and every single lesson, the teachers spent a good
half an hour talking abt the A level results & then especially for chinese, I then realised it's really damn hard to score an A what the freak. Like there was only 1 student that got an A out of 13 students oh my god seriously. And then he went on abt the previous batches & freak la, when he mentioned abt this batch doing exceptionally well, and with only 1 A and 1 C and remaining Bs, and that one A belongs to a malaysian girl, the entire class just look at me la wth ----------- & I felt so shit bc like the more I hear, the more my entire soul just went further and further down the black hole omg .......
And yes, 1 hour of econs + 2 hours of human geo oh god ππ can't believe I survived all that I cannot. And was feeling so sleepy and tired the entire day but thank god for the study session at the end of the day omg :'))
All the ranting & letting everything out allowed me to feel so much better, and also learning abt the policies in econs. Freak friends, I understand my policies finally after freaking few more weeks & just two more weeks into econs paper fml seriously. All the laughing, talking, learning gave me a really good ending to the day omg. Dinner was so so satisfying & it was all worth surviving the entire day (including not eating oops) teehee.
The day didn't started out well but thanks for everything that happened when lessons ended because I just felt everything was worth it all :')))
Daily updates of nalan: he texted me during lessons time and shared with me some of the geo essays. He also shared with me entire 2 years worth of folders so I'm just impressed again and yes, reason why he did so well guys :-))
[just in case I didn't mentioned beforehand, nalan scored a rank points of 80 :'))) ]
Wed; entire day was just plain sleepy and tired omg..... And kind of just unknowingly rage at Denise, so felt bad abt it but well, she might forgotten abt it also so hahaha. But thank god, lessons went well the entire day & hey, during break we talk again ☺️☺️
Had council meeting today bc friday is the start of SA already urgh freak seriously. Gonna do morning assembly also tmr morning bc it's the 31st finally coming up to talk ππ
Rather alright day and yes, somehow or another, I met wei han (a 31st elect but he left council already) today and hey, he looked not bad la and freaking white oh my god. He was so ππ la. Hahaha, when he saw me for the first time, he complimented me and then suddenly he just held up his phone & wanted to snap me to his friends?? Omg, and then he asked for my ig & then he was there lmao most of the time so yeah... like so many things in one day la wth hahaha. But it's nothing much also la, just wanna express some thoughts that's all lmao oh well zzzz
Made friends with some of the elects too so also something good abt today ππ
Oh ya, and yes updated Claudia abt nalan too
woohoo
Daily updates of nalan:
(still can't believe this's going on strong lmao)
Okay, so basically, for the very first time today, I texted nalan bc I wanted him to email me the folder that he sent last night & I kind of regretted asking him to send to the other email. So yeap, he replied me. Then later, I just randomly asked him some stuff, like 'are you rather free everyday?' 'you don't go out often' and then he replied, 'nope, most of his guy friends are in ns.' and then he added, 'I don't go out with girls also' so I'm okay.... (didn't ask for that but oh well ππ) and then we talked a bit more abt ns, future careers and all. And it was genuinely such a comfortable text and I felt that hey, it's not awkward or what and it's actually nice and all :)))
But well, we were talking abt studies and all, he added that he applied for scholarship and then he might need to go overseas to study & he also told me abt ns timeline and all.... okay, it might just be me and me being overly smart and stuff... but idk though... when he tell me such stuffs, it's honestly not to have a second thought abt those words though.... like, are you hinting to me abt some things? Because either way, I'm going to kind of have to wait for you also ...... like you're going ns & then I have to complete my education this year. There will be a lot of waiting here and there so hahaha. But, then again, he might mistaken this feeling he has for me as a moment of attraction or just a temporary feelings that's all. And maybe in the future, you might realise you don't like me at all. And urgh, then I will feel damn stupid abt myself la wth omg.... (tbh, i don't even dare to think that way omg)
Okay moving on, then we were talking abt his career and I asked, 'so you wanna do research work?'
'Noooo, I wanna interact with me. Research work so boring. Unless it's about you' .......
And I was just like.... :-))))
HAHAHAHAHAHA
& then, we talked abt scholarships and all, and I told him that I might not be going for overseas, though the opportunity is really good and all, and I have my own personal mental barrier I have to overcome hahaha. He said local uni is the answer already, but I also tell him that I won't stay in hostel also and will travel home everyday. He asked wouldn't it be very far for me (yes he freaking knows where I stay omg) and then so much travelling on public transport. But I was like I don't mind though, like I don't mind travelling. Guys, his response 'maybe I will send you to school then... We see how'
& I was just like ..... How did it went that way woohoo :-))))))
So yeah, this's nalan for the day π€π€π€
Thurs; half day today bc previous batch did well & its pizza and ice cream day ππ
Texted nalan again well ππ
And yes, ran two rounds for 2.4, but timing is so bad and I just feel that my legs can't continue anymore and then I just stopped. Feeling rather stupid bc really didn't know today marks the start of napfa omg ;( need to pass napfa la wth and then really wanna at least manage to get a C for all components so that I am able to maintain my gold streak and also complete napfa on a good note. Basically to end napfa well. But hey, stamina is bad af and I'm more than unfit woohoo ππ
Entire day was freaking sleepy and legit wanted to die so much bc Skype Joel and chuken and slept at 3 lmao. Was worth it though seriously like yeah, didn't study but all's good :)
But one awful thing is: a private convo w Lena friends :-) she freaking called me and then told me that it's very urgent and she need to see me right now and immediately. And it was during Delphine lesson guys :-) so left the lesson halfway through and then urgh, she talked to me and then she's going to call mama and tell her abt my results. Fml la wth so annoying la ;( and then yeah, was rather appreciative this bc like it was probably the very first time I actually faced my academic issues properly and then like really finally get myself together few days back sigh. Genuinely worried abt my SA la fml but then also feel that really not enough time alre sigh. Need to kind of let mama know or else will fucking die more, especially the parent meeting after SA urgh can't even imagine la wth; even wanting only straight Cs right now .... And even econs also bad la urgh annoying la :/ how am I suppose to bring myself together to say that I failed every single shit wth omg urgh urgh urgh
Daily updates of nalan: texted him today like saying that thanks for doing well for A & allowing us to enjoy pizza and ice cream π and he replied saying study hard and then I'm able to pass down this to my juniors as well ππnothing much just wanna say that we text again today yay!!!!!
Fri; commencement of SA1 2016, first paper: GP.
Picked a question that probably only 1-2% of the cohort did, and one of those most unexpected questions too. Compre was tough af and kind of rushed through my summary ;(
Completed both papers but honestly feeling so freaking uneasy abt them :-))))))) Probably screwed up both of them, what's new right friends. Lena called mama and they had a 20min chat urgh. Lena was speaking up for me and actually comforting and appeasing mama for me. And mama even said that Delphine actually liked me as her student & is worried abt my econs bc I seriously underperformed so badly this time?? What the fuck is 9/25 save my soul seriously. Rather thankful for Lena, in some way or another sigh. She was freaking disappointed bc she thought I was an alright student and is able to manage my studies. Guess who decide to throw herself off the cliff woohoo :-)))))
Entire night was even more pissed off as myself bc I couldn't overcome myself and the real bad procrastination and distracting self. Already feeling abt awful abt the call but couldn't get myself together and progress is even slower than the Pluto taking one while orbit around the sun wth. But more of annoyed at myself bc I disappointed so many people at one shot. And the feelings & expectations of people I have within me just bring me even closer to hell :-)
So much for telling myself to get myself up and together. Much wow, much impressed. Guess which idiot went even lower and deeper this time round. Sounds great isn't it :-)
Sat; an even more disappointing day woohoo. Stayed home the entire day but only read probably 5 pages of lit sounds amazing isn't it ππ
Entire afternoon was more than unproductive and wasted so so much time. As if I still have much time on my hand wow girl wow.
Gave up nus open house so as to compensate the studying time but apparently, it's even worse. Totally at a loss of words abt myself and really disgusted right now.
Oh, and guess who is going for concert omg :')))) another time wasted and today should actually be the day to pay back tmr but guess who just screwed up everything. Again.
So proud of me omg. The queen of procrastination.
And saw this quote the other day, at the most unexpected place (econs reference book what even)
'Every time you want to give up, think of why you started'
Saw this quote probably the ten thousandth times, but it was for the first time, I almost broke down at that quote :')
'Every time you wanna give up, ask yourself why did you start'
//
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