Why am i so vulnerable to bullshits omg? And to think i tell myself to grow up and thing swill get better eventually.... I am so sick and tired of just being there when you need me and then shoving it one side when you ain't free to bother me. Dude, i am a girl, i am a human, i have a life too. I understand we all have different commitments and responsibilities in life and i swear with my life, never once i use that against you. I told myself that you are capable of doing much more things in life and that our relationship should never be a barrier to you achieving much more great things in life. But, i am just disappointed omg. How can you seriously. I am not some form of rag doll or a punching bag, after a few punches you can just throw me aside and then leave me hanging there with zero explanations. This is annoying to the highest level. I have feelings too. In fact, much more than you think. If you think you know me, you better think again how much you know me. And i never push or get rid of anyone in my life, because i always tell myself that (& i believe that too) everyone is a blessing to life and there is a reason why they enter your life. Fate and destiny put it this way, accept and cherish them all. So what they ain't going to go long with you, at the very least they came into your life and there is a reason why they're like that, they don't just come and go, they came with a purpose and reason. Whatever it is good or bad, i appreciate them all because they taught me about life. But no, this time you prefer pushing me away and then just leave me there all along, without any explanations. I hate misunderstanding so much, i hate them with my life, that is why no matter how shit or how terrible a situation or a person is, i tell myself let's talk about it and then set things straight. Honestly, even dumb and useless and brainless explanations > NO AND ZERO explanations. urgh The feeling is awful and i never once did that before. My last words for you: Goodbye. I wish you well. Please really learn to start expressing yourself better.
Moving on, let's welcome burden chan woohoo. Burden chan is undergoing so much and then he is also under immense and intense stress and pressure that honestly, scares me because considering how much shit he put into council. HAHAHA. (okay i sound mean here) But, really it was the very first time i see him taking up so much responsibilities and making so much efforts to get things going. Bonus, teachers day is giving me a break also HAHA. He is so preoccupied with the event planning and then he forgotten about everything else so yayyy. And most importantly, AS A FRIEND AND AS A NORMAL HUMAN, I was concerned about him and then his super tense up face (quite similar to chuken before ltc) scared me too, considering how much i know about him. It was the first time i see him like that too. So yeah, i wanted to talk to him and idk, at least let him get some things off him, but considering historical background (scroll down readers), i wasn't encouraged to do so and hence i didn't. But, i did causally ask him how is he and is he very stress and whatnot. And the response i get omg, 'no,i am not. wait, maybe i am' and i am like, the asshole is here again smh. But okay, i understand what you are going through so i won't say much. But, thankfully, he was better after fri because council finally get together and really came up with something and yes, he definitely look more relaxed. Thank god.
And council, wow so many things happened. 40 rank points, it looked so minimum and basic, but omg i am going through just to even hit 40 omg. This is so hard for me, like it is so hard to even reach sigh and i hate it so much. Okay, i am able to pull through and get myself together and then make it to next year. YES I CAN.
It was one hell ride with a lot of human dramas this week, with the bonus of council issues. But all in all, i am thankful that it somehow or another ended well, minus-ing the annoying human 1. But, okay i am going to pull through them all and survive them all well.
Thank god for other people in life too, because they show me the better part of the world and life.
Sidetrack: got a U for chinese, C for geo (i passed phy geo and that is so unbelievable) and passed maths yeah.
Countdown : 3 more weeks to promos
Jiayou.
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