CA, CA, CA

Finally. Ended the horrible week of my tests. Out of all the papers i took, i screwed up 2, one being econs, and the other being chi. Overall, i felt that it was alright and though i won't be able to score or ace any, but at the very least, i may get some decent marks? whatever it is, i am rather thankful for CA. They forced me to study and INTERNALISE many many facts and knowledge which oh well, gave me a reality check. Yes, promos is in exactly 1 month, 30 days. Honestly, at the start of the year, just entered JC. I was somewhat worried about the final exams but i didn't want to scare myself so badly so i always quickly brushed them all off me. But, this time i really can't anymore. I really need to stress that information right in me that i am not allowed to screw up at all, not even a single bit for this 85% of my overall percentage score, the number 2 determining factor for my promotions.
We often complain about the education system being too rigid, and that results define each and everyone; but we never realized that we are penning those thoughts on to the papers that are going to determine our future paths. Irony much? And then, after writing for the paper, we then have to open and flip through other subjects and continue the further revisions and studies. Wow, so what was it then you were writing for your GP essay again? You are writing just to score an A, isn't it? Are you seriously going to submit that essay or argument of yours up to the government and get them to look into it? No, you are not. And believe me, you will not either. So, forget about that and just do whatever is it given to us or rather, our current role---study.
Okay, enough of the intellectual talk, this is a place for me to just release everything i have in me and i am definitely not going to tell the try-hard realist in me to take over. You have had enough of your position eveyday in school, time to let the personal jieai takes the lead.
Back to CA, physical geo was well, rather doable and manageable and personally, it would be entirely your fault should you failed the paper because the hints given were really explicit to the point and yes, quoted from him 'this is a no integrity paper' aka should you studied, passing is probably the easiest thing about it.
And, yes I Passed (:
Human geo was also alright, considering the fact that there wasn't any essay questions (she totally fooled us all) and that there were many break down of marks here and there. The paper was also, to help us pass and basically to get through geo because apparently, our batch did way too badly for geo and it was to the point that if the teachers decide to leave us alone, we are all not going to make it (physical geo has 70% failure, what do you think).
Chi was genuinely disappointing, but at the same time i couldn't blame anyone except for my own laziness. Apparently the one and only prose that i missed was the Q1 and hola, i was killed and slapped right smack in my face. HAHAHA. Q2 was a predicted question but honestly, it is a definite U alre oh well. He is going to speak to me even more now oops.
Moving on, maths was really alright and our dear maths teacher really hinted all the way for the paper. The questions were exactly the ones she SPECIFICALLY asked us to study, just with the switching of numbers. Really, it is hard to fail because the hints were so explicit and i can safely tell you that if you don't get it, you are a legit bobo HAHAHA. But, thank goodness the paper was alright and yes, i think i can pass my H1 yay.
Overall, i genuinely feel that the teachers are really helping a lot and that they really wanna help us to do well for this 5% so that at the very least, we are secured for a 5%. It may seemed insignificant, but sometimes, it could be this 5% that determines your calling. Hence, i am glad that i didn't look down on this 5% and yes, i was so stressed over this 5% alright. Too stressed for a 5%, but it's okay, they are all wroth it. (:
This week was a much better week, compared to the previous one. Yes, there were stress and there were moments i was just pure angsty and cranky. But, i wouldn't wanna exchange them because my mood this week was really a much better one and i could actually call myself to focus and sit down and really just read through my notes, i know i am able to convince myself to study, and all i need was just to get my shit together (as usual, what is new)
Thankful for the CA week, they forced me to get my shit together :)
and thankful for the really really important and personal heart-to-heart talk. It was really a test that we had to go through together and yes, i am glad that we made it through the test and passed it with flying colors :)
CA ended, we are even closer to promos and PW, farewell planning, teachers' day, OGL and etc, things are finally kicked in, but i know, with the determination and right mindset, i will get through them all, safe and sound. Watch me survive all and become a even better and stronger person, in and out.

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