Was really wasting my life this few days... Pratically nothing meaningful was done... Tried to set a goal and plan, but it will be game over later on...): Though all this, I think there is still things that are changing.... Everything includes me, my family, friends even the life I am having now.... Pathetic me): Can't blame the holidays... Only could blame myself.... Yup! It is all my fault. Totally have no resistance against temptations! Damn it! A total failure! ): Anyway, back to the main story... Shall talk abt u first... Well,there are many reasons now we are drifting apart. I understand that. Partly is my fault too. I am unable to be there 24/7 for you,unable to suit u always, plans could never be carried out. Now, we are not like before. Our personality and character is also way different now. Well, you can say, we were not so close anymore...I can sense that somehow, there is someone replacing me and taking over my place in your heart. The weightage is stronger in her now. I am not jealous neither paranoid. Maybe things could have happened in the middle that cause the distance now. Actually, when I am writing this, I was on the verge of crying. Maybe u did not feel it, think it or see it. Maybe you think I am just thinking too much. Maybe u think I am just creating problems. But, have u ever wonder, putting yourself in my shoes? I dun knw will u be reading this, but I just wnanna let u knw tat, you can make new friends, I am not rights to forbid you from tat, but can I ask a favourite frm u, can u please at least maybe like put me into your considerations as well? That meanseverytime maye u guys wanna go out or anything, can u just ask me? Maybe u will knw the reason but dun let me feel that I have been forgotten or neglected. I dun wanna see our friendship gone to drain just like that....so, can I have this favourite from you? Haiz...okay, your story had ended. Now, it is your tun. Sometimes, I really can't stand u, but I knw everything u do is for my own good and you wan me 2 be good. All this I understand that! But, at times, I truly need your permission to set me free. I know maybe u will think that I am asking too much.. But can u like stop pressuring me? Haiz...it is really hard to talk abt u now... In this kind of place... Shall end your story here Lastly, me. Talking abt me, i have tons to say. Shall talk abt one recent new first. I have gotten my blood test report and I am an A+(: (teehee) And I think I am crazy le, these few days.... Unable to control my own body, my own thinking. Seriously think the brain is useless now. Totally unable to function properly.... Haiz...secondly, my life is in a total mess... Truly wanna find someone to help me tidy and clear up....i think i am dying. Totally have zero directions abt my life. Man! Wht kind of life am i living in?! I dun think i cn understand myself anymore. Everything is in a mess.i am sick and tired of my own life. Damn it! Fuck! Can anyone help me? I am on the verge of death. I have now zero control of my life. I think i am not fit to have it or customize it any longer.... Wht shld i do?!?!)):