Life is disgusting now. Totally dread it. Dun even understand why did i still have the breathe to live it...

Everyday is meaningless to me. It makes me feel that i am out of the world, totally zero link to it.  Cant take it any longer. Every min, i have the urge to break down. Totally hate it. 

i maybe looking strong and cheerful, always the most hyper one. but deep down in side me, my heart is fragile, it is tearing and it is crashing down every time and trying to reconcile once more. i am sick and tired of this kind of life. i dun want this any longer. i wanna change so badly. but, when will i ever have the chance to do it?! 

everyday is a disaster for me. nothing will go with me, everything is turning against me, putting all the blame all upon me! dun even know the reason why am i still here...

trying really hard to make myself stronger, but it always seemed pointless...

somehow, i am feeling despised! it is truly sickening!

i am not any super hero or wonder woman, i am just ordinary girl who want someone to care for me, shower me the love and happiness and joy that everyone wants..is it really that hard...

every morning i wake up, i will always to do my very best to do my job and tasks. i don't need you to give me praises or rewards, but i just want that at least i am being seen by my hard work, i just want a simple, 'Thank you'. it can truly make my day. but, instead of that, you gave me some shit ratter of your own nonsense and started reprimanding me for all the mistakes i have taken . i truly hate life now. 

everyone needs freedom ,so do i. stop locking me up like your pet bird. i wanna at least have my own say abt my own life. this is mine, not yours. you cant even lead your life properly, so stop ordering me around like your maid! 

do you know that every time, you said something hurtful or just simply wronged abt my actions, all the words adn actions just pierced through my heart, and leaving a mark that forever. i don't expect a word of apology but can you at least show me some respect as well?! i am a human , i do have feelings! So, please stop telling me all your big rules and great truths of life when you are showing me a good example abt them. saying much will never help, it will just be my another post of you, crushing my life. shall stop here. cant continue, the tears are coming soon.....