Last week of fun & Great Moments, Goodbye Term 2 ;

HEYYYYY FRIENDS IT IS THE END OF SCHOOL TERM AND ALOHA HOLIDAYS WOOHOO ☺️☺️😋😋😇😇
This week, there's only three days of school but then freak, there's still many many things that happened like wth wow. I died tbh. But overall, it was alright altogether :)

Mon; Vesak Day holiday and I think it was just stay-home catching up and trying to finish up work and rushing like mad because I did no shit during the weekends NICE (nice is my new word btw)
And then AQ was so hard wth seriously I can't 😢😢😢 and yeah nothing much.
BUT, I took my phone guys lmao

Tues; woke up with a headache and a freaking big ulcer at the throat so it was freaking sore-ing and like slight and real mild fever also sigh
Invest rehearsal in the morning so I got to school but was thinking maybe leaving halfway but ended up can't even hold on to the second period and left after human geo tutorial NICE
Make a trip to times bookstore to buy chuken birthday present and was a true hobo when I just plotted myself on the floor and look at all the books. SO YESSSS
And then went home, giddy af and headache was a real bitch not even kidding. Slept for a while and headache didn't subside. Got up and went down to get medicine and eat something. Ate Panadol in the clinic lmao (bc I need a mc) and still feel real giddy. And doc insisted of giving me medicine as well when I legit don't want it but I really can't argue with him already so I just whatever fml. Then later, was contemplating damn hard should I go buy the balloon too but fml it was so uncomfortable but I still went anyway. Bought the balloon and I'm like, OKAY I NEED TO GO HOME NOW.
Dropped dead and slept again AND FREAK WHEN I WOKE UP LATER, HEAD NOT PAIN ANYMORE 🙌🙌🙌
Got up and did some work, including rushing cards fml. But still couldn't finish it omg.
And was faking accused of ponning school 🙄🙄 coming from the one that always say I can't miss school fml seriously

Wed; HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY TELEPATHIC BUDDY & IS IT INVESTITURE 2016 ✨✨✨
Was even excused from school early and then insisted chuken to carry the balloon around hahaha and then like entire day was quite alright because quite excited for investiture also hahaha.
And investiture came !!!! walked the stage the last time and also was sent to the back of the hall to watch the remaining part of the ceremony. And watching them all walk and recite the oath honestly bring back so many memories omg 😢😢😢 and yeah school song sang AND YESSS IT IS ALL OVER !!!!!! (Melissa came back btw)
Photo taking friends!!!! Going around taking photos and was celebrating chuken birthday as go home gang when I realised I lost my council badge FUCK
I dropped it somewhere that I have no idea where is it and I was just panicking the whole time looking for it wtf seriously someone kill me omg.
OMG I DROPPED MY BADGE ON THE DAY I STEPPED DOWN HOW GREAT OF A HUMAN AM I OMG SERIOUSLY
But the thing I don't even know where or when I dropped it and the freaking hall so big fml la wth so when I talked to ms nunis, she's said its okay and then she will get me a new one!!!! BUT!!!!! The new one is the silver one and ours is the gold one wth!!!! 😢😢😢 Super sad la plus now I can't wear uniform already dammit !!!!!
But we sang birthday song for chuken & took photo, and we created go home gang 3.0 ✈️✈️✈️ NICE HAHAHAHA
(with the addition of Kenn)
And went around taking photos, and seriously MA4 are such losers wth HAHAHA
And then welfare comm also, everything is over so really time to put down everything :) and also chuken, Muhila, jeevan & campaign group 4 and sigh, everything is really really over 😢😢😢
And omg go home gang was still around, and they were helping to clear the chairs but it was freaking fun when they were pushing the trolleys around HAHAHAH, had a good time going high and screaming for my life with them around oops (but not helping at all) and then also we went to eat chuken birthday cake omg !!!!! Collected my plaque as well!!!! And omg jeevan also wrote and drew me a card!!!! 😢😢😢 and the day ended with me going home FINALLY IN A LONG TIME WITH GO HOME GANG OMG !!!!!!!
lame shit: so when i was looking around for people during photo taking, I witnessed something that OBVIOUSLY didn't want to, and was rather affected by it. I went fuck my life when I saw it, but I said a second fuck my life for my instant reaction. I was so angry, disappointed, affected and hated myself so much the whole time for feeling that way, because I AM NOT supposed to feel it that way wth 🙄🙄🙄
(jeevan and melissa were hugging)
& also, I genuinely thought that both of them will hang out or go for dinner but jeevan ended up going home alone, which I was very shocked???? But I was like wow okay hahah
DAMMIT WTF I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH SERIOUSLY OMG IT IS NOT EVEN RIGHT LA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OMG
& then in the night, mama found out about the phone and then of course she raged and all but I managed to negotiate to have my phone until the week ends (and today is already friday sigh...)
So yeah, a super eventful day but vvv glad of all the things that happened :)))))

Thurs; freak!!!!!! Lena tutorial and star were cancelled so we ended sch two hours earlier!!!!!!! met up with joel and heard the most unbelievable thing from him ever HOW GREAT HOW WONDERFUL WOOHOO 🤗🤗🤗 so he confessed to me and then I was like wow but then I felt bad again because freak!!!!!!!! all the times I talked so much to him abt jeevan and actually that idiot hinted to me so much so so much and I'm just that dumb shit that didn't catch any of the hints AND FUCK MY LIFE
Still in a state of shock and disbelief I can't even wth!!!!!! But yeah, it got me thinking so hard omg and then I realised actually everyone caught the hint and everyone kind of guessed it AND I AM THE LAST ONE LEFT DUMB SHIT I CANNOT
but oh well, last day of school & last day of official lesson so vvv happy and excited about sports day & hot fest yay!!!!!!!

Fri; sports day!!!!!! super excited about today & freak guys, my class is running!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃 Lena bought us food and drinks because we were running but we ended up as last fml
Because actually, I really don't know was it me or denise that dropped the baton so apparently we were disqualified like that fml. And I heard we were leading at the start but I was so angry and affected because I felt it was me that led to whatever that happened sigh 😔😔😔 sorry a02, I failed you all like that sigh ...... but afterwards, it was more bonding session with limweiran and she was trembling the whole time when I told her that incident and lmao, she was in more shocked than me fml hahah but yeah, that poor girl is also going through so much because of her screwed up class and a very particular bitch wth seriously 🙄🙄🙄 stay strong my dear weiran 💪💪 time to fight those negativity and stand up for yourself and don't let those bunch of losers get to you okay!!!!!!!
And feeling quite affected by whatever happened and freak la, came to school with a god damn sore throat and blocked nose and apparently, my voice changed as well fml.
Towards the end of sports day, was feeling giddy and uncomfortable both physically and mentally seriously wth. Super sad because was anticipating today so hard and looked what happened to me seriously fml la wth 😕😕😕
But I ended my sports day with the most unexpected and random and impromptu lunch with jeevan wow
So it was just I wanted to take photo with him and then he already left the school but then he said he can wait for me outside school!!! I left the school and don't know what happened, he asked me what happened earlier on and we ended up going for lunch wow
Changi Airport and had ramen for lunch hahaha & nope, we didn't take our photos wow
HAHAHAHAHAHA
but yeah, thank god for a nice company and comfort & thank god for a comforting lunch as well ☺️☺️☺️ jeevan is becoming one great mvp in my life hahaha
And really, we are always so impromptu & super unexpected as well but sigh, it was definitely a pleasant surprise 💙💜💙💜
AND THE NIGHT EVENT GUYS HOT FEST 2016!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
So much jumping, no sound screaming & having fun !!! ☺️☺️☺️ omg freak I really love hot concert seriously!!!!!
And the lineup was really really good omg, all the songs picked + all the performers + visual designs + freak the committee is legit omg!!!! This year, hot fest 2016 really outdo themselves omg!!!! 10 bucks was worth it man omg!!!!! 💓💓💓
And then was sweating like mad after it, so much workout wth more workout than sports day please seriously omg.
And post-hot concert was also fun!!! Taking photos and all but actually got chased out by attendants so badly seriously wth I cannot !!! And stupid jeevan I cannot omg!!!!!!!! Hope he's well and all omg but yeah!!!! Ended the night with xiaobitches so all's good ☺️☺️☺️

AND FINALLY; this concludes my term 2 and aloha holidays!!!!! it was a good last week of school because of all the events that happened + all the fun I had as well!!!!

(and yes, it's time to study sigh)

'Everyday may not be good, but there's something good in Everyday.'
Here's a big thank you to all the sweethearts in my life 💖💖💖


//

Hardwork now, sweetness later

A week with so much in me, didn't really started out well but towards the week, vvv thankful for everything that happened and sigh, concluding that after experience the worst, whatever afterwards is certainly the rewards and tasting those fruits of labour and hardship 💪💪 

Mon;

High af fml. But I think I am high for the wrong reason wow. Basically he wasn't in school because he went for his commando interview and all. And okay, when I saw his snap in the morning and he said, 'I know you will be sad, because you don't get to see me in the morning' and I was just like, hmm wow okay...(bc he kind of speak my mind wth...) and so I had to cover up by saying, 'more like you don't get to see me you don't be sad' fml what am I doing seriously......

And I told hidayah and pingxin regarding this shit and i genuinely hope I don't screw things up already?? And me and hidayah went off to talk somewhere and we left the other two there. Sorry friends, I just don't feel very comfortable sharing to some of you regarding some issues so yeah. 

But yeah, the entire day was alright but when mama came and picked me up, I was late for ten mins and she decided to text and called chuken and jeevan :-)))) my dear chuken was having his ca and jeevan wasn't in school!!!!! How the hell are they going to find me wtf. I felt so bad towards the both of them and I had to apologised ON HER BEHALF and then I had to explained the situation ON HER BEHALF omg, and who was the one that's ALWAYS late when she comes to pick me and she tell me not to be late wow. Anyway, she was late for half an hour and she still asked me back, she was late??? WOW, and who was the one that insisted the timing when I tried to push it back so hard wtf 

Omg, our relationship is going to get so bad by the end of the year and seriously, it's not about A levels anymore omg. The ties is going to be vulnerable and I fear that we are going to argue over real trivial matters next time and then we will start not hang out anymore unless necessary because of all the misunderstandings and conflicts then I don't wanna clarify and I let you on like that seriously. Fml

Tues;

Nightmare and horror of the week. But was it because whatever I was going to experience for the rest of the week so way too beautiful and that's why I'm going through so hard that day??? 

Slept for 4/5 of the lessons and I cried too much already seriously. I cried three times wow how even. Twice when I met weiran during the break and we talked about jieai being so sad right now, and when everyone is suffering from jieai-deficient, she's suffering from life-deficient and she's on a life support right now 

HAHAHAHA that actually cracked me up so much I swear hahaha 

And the last time was she was late when she came and picked me up and then I tried negotiating and it turned into a toxic af lecture and then I ended up crying so hard and I cried to bed as well. I was so tired the entire day and then it was so awful wtf. I went home and just slept over it. But it was just so painful la wth I hate it so much I hate it 

Wed;

Because when yesterday was too painful, today feels like a dream. And sigh, I think my Wednesdays are generally my best day of the week. And it was too good to be true wow. 

What a bittersweet day omg. Last day in the council room and we officially handed over the room to them omg 😢😢😢 

Morning was just plain noisy and making so much noise and laughing so hard. And my day ended early also because last lesson was cancelled hahaha. I ended at 12, oh technically 1150 because someone wanted to come and remove the fan and I just said, since we are left with 10mins, just end already and yes, ms tan was like okay la, hahaha!!!!! I love ms tan 5eva omg!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ 

went to council room afterwards and freak I was there since 12 and all the way onwards. stupid joachim put the luck on my bag and I had to plead with everyone to unlock it but only nice jeevan did it for me!!! He couldn't unlock it and us two were slightly panicking but thank god it was out??? 

And yeah, we ended up on the sofa again talking about life :)))) I talked about toxic Tuesday and he shared wonderful Monday hahaha, it was fun talking about random shit in life and it wasn't for once awkward and had pockets of odd silence omg freak so happy hahaha ☺️☺️☺️ oh, and we ended up going for lunch together wow. It was really a very nice feeling and sigh, it was just fun 💜💙💜💙 

Oh ya, councillors were playing monopoly and screaming like mad in the room and then there are some of us, just sitting down there like bosses while waiting for juniors to figure out the lock hahaha. I love the room la wth and we are giving it up already.

And logs head is raj (expected so it's okay) but bless his team not even kidding stay strong raj 💪💪 and have fun figuring out what's in the room and have a great time working with your team. And by the end of the council term, you're able to transform everything into something amazing, it's your success and it's your 31st logistics comm proudest moment ✨✨

Oh, and when juniors entered the room, ms nunis went like, 'whatever you guys need/want from the room, ask jeevan/jieai and tbh, at the moment, I really felt like a proud mum and then so much great satisfaction and achievement in me because really, only us two know the room so well enough I cannot. 

(random: I swear I didn't realise us two were sitting the same way, like sitting up straight and arms folded and looking at juniors unlocking the door omg freak) 

And invest rehearsal, and it was nothing much but it was nice attending council stuff again and also the very last time already anyway sigh.

Rehearsal ended, and when we went back to council room, wow the lock was stuck and then we couldn't open that shit and only to realise that juniors accidentally reset the lock wow. But lmao, when they were figuring out the lock outside the room, they were thinking of using tools to break open that shit, so they got me into the room (you can actually enter the room without unlocking the door hahaha) and then when I wasn't able to find it, they got jeevan to come in also via the wrong way, and then while others were figuring out the lock, we ended up talking even more and I tried finding hammer/mellet and all and we ended up talking about guides and scouts lmao and also family hahaha, it was super random but then we ended up just waiting for them to unlock and all already oops 

OH OH OH HAHAHAH ; we went ikea together too btw oops >>>> to get Ian present okay!!!!!! 

Took the bus there and was awkward af because there was raj and shuihan there as well wow but thank god they didn't really notice us so hahaha..

Spent a long time discussing which frame to buy and how are we going to decor it and all oops 

And because it was too late, he panicked and then he and chuken had to work together again lmao hahaha but mama feel sick so oh well

Cabbed home eventually because it was damn late already hahaha but sigh, it was way too much fun already the entire day, and I spent too much time with him in one day right hahaha but sigh, it was fun. Just fun ☺️☺️☺️

💜💙💜💙

Thurs;

A mixture of good and bad actually. Like Delphine, Wendy and Lena all were not there for lessons!!!!! Had a super long break & I went off to make the present for Ian and then more jeevan for the day hahaha. And freak, we were so damn efficient and omg, I really love this work relationship because we are always super efficient and effective I cannot!!!! 

And I went back for lecture and afterwards, school ended two hours early for me hahaha!!!!! And I went back to write more cards and also a small note for Ian as well! But sigh, I felt so sad about myself and also super apologetic towards joel because we missed each other just like that and then we didn't hang out together as well omg!!! And poor joel even injured himself during the heats omg freak!!! I felt so bad towards him and really, we also haven't been hanging out with him and freak la, I miss him also wth omg and yeah, went home late (she didn't come btw) too but oh well oops.  

But really proud of myself for wed and thurs because I completed my todo list a lot yay!!!!

Fri;

Another super satisfying day from this week really :')))

Star was cancelled so I ended school earlier, but get well soon alright ms huang 😢😢 

Lunch was funny because I spent a long time debating with jeevan, claudia and chuken were so done with us because we were contradicting ourselves hahaha but I missed talking to chuken and I legit need to catchup with him already WTF MAMA GET OUT LA OMG

and the afternoon was so messy because me and weiran wanted to go for guides pop but then what's annoying was the investiture rehearsal timing wasn't confirmed, and I heard four timings wow :-)) 

and I was also feeling a bit worried because I wasn't able to attend the rehearsal but I don't want to cancel on weiran as well because honestly we haven't been catching up + i miss weiran a lot, a lot.

but thankfully, i was able to attend half an hour of rehearsal and i left afterwards hahaha

and we missed the entire pop but we got the food though HAHAHAHA

but the trip there & on our way home, we were just non-stop talking, going on and on the whole time and seriously just letting all out, zero filter omg. I was so thankful for this because I can finally say everything and anything on my mind and then when we come together, there won't be a breathing time because we just keep on say so many things altogether and freak, I love these moments omg :'))) 

Though I missed rehearsal, no regrets I swear. But the food was also not bad hahah, and it was really nice going back to Chung Cheng and taking a look at everything, from the infrastructures, to people and the legendary lake :')))) 

Everything was oddly strange and familiar at the same time, and wow it doesn't feel the same anymore sigh. I missed Chung Cheng tbh, I missed it as a whole and I genuinely can't really pinpoint out what I missed most but I think I miss everything in general bah :)

But for tpjc, I think I will know what I miss though. I will miss the people, my favourite council and all the great friends and memories I made here. tpjc gave me one of the greatest and best memories for the rest of my life and I am thankful for it ☺️☺️

And long weekend ahead so quite happy about it !!! :')))) and can't wait for the last week of school already omg!!! holidays are coming and time to work harder and time to shine during sa2 yay!!!!!

边缘间，傻了

我想我真的不小心喜欢上你了。
我真的惨了。
我不小心玩过火了。
原来， 你早已在我心中种下根。
原来，你已悄悄变成我脑海挥之不去的画面。
原来，你，不如说我，我已踏进那滩浑水，欲罢不能。

惨了，真的是惨了。
我都不知道该怎么办，
都说到如此地步了，
我可以做什么呢？
我好无助，我也没想到我会陷入如此局面。
我从未想到我竟然会面对这个问题。
原本还信誓旦旦没问题。。。结果，我成了这样。
我非常有信心不会发生，
我快要疯了。
先是不同宗教，现在是不同宗族，
问题更难，更棘手了，真是傻了。
我该怎么停止这一次呢？我可以做什么呢？


爱上了一个我不该爱上的人。
我，真的玩完了。
彻彻底底地死了。
惨了、疯了、傻了
如何是好？我又该何去何从？


不要再对我好，
我好怕，
我怕，我会越陷越深；
到时，真的是回不了头了。
我宁愿，你开始不喜欢和我在一起。
我宁愿，你开始选择避开我，离我远去；
那我也更容易死心，
不再对你抱有任何希望和期待。
而我，也能更快地从这场梦苏醒，
不再继续痴心妄想。

TRAMAtised Week..

Okay, wow so apparently, i am more than screwed friends, because i think i am officially warned about the stupid issue and i think i am seriously moving towards the real unhealthy side. Friends, i am not kidding. I think i am really really starting to fall for a specific someone and of course, i am seriously steering towards the certainly extremely unhealthy af and wrong side, without a doubt. Ang you know what is the best part, i think i just made the cray cray internal war much more harder by increasing and leveling up the difficulty so much more than before and i just gave myself the craziest and probably another internal homework that i have to complete before the year of this year, or maybe if possible before As. It is certainly becoming more and more screwed up and god bless jieai seriously. She jumped into the deep deep DARK (literally) hole already.

oh btw, mama decided to be the best mum of 2016 and she decided to ferry me everyday after school with the reasoning that i can save more time on traveling and look less cui when i reached home. And she requested for my timetable and yup, this is definitely monitoring me on a whole new level and nope, i am not going to dwell too much because the rant certainly can't be stopped :-) i have much more important issues to address, no time for stupid and dumb shit in life.

Mon: day 1 of trying to pick me up and it is already causing so much trouble thanks man :-)
Celebrated felicia birthday because to make up my dumb mistake from last week and i swear, it was one of the most awkward celebration ever?? jeevan didn't even bothering getting up from his seat wth lmao HAHAAHAH but oh well, she was the last one so we officially cleared the list??
Anyway, was feeling a slight of pity that i couldn't see him before i went home but i guessed all the breaks made up for it??? And we were this close of doing MA but we didn't had to, but i had this little wish that we had to do because 1) i miss MA 2) it is him.....
(i am seriously going down the wrong way so hard....)
Maths CA too, thankful it was alright and it is possible to pass but doing well is another thing all over again omg seriously sigh. And i got back my chi CA too, so i apparently i passed on the dot this time and can i say this is the first time that i actually passed a lit test or even essays wth??? hahaha, and i realise my mistake was i wrote too little wasted af la omg ):

Tues:
Human Geo CA, paper was okay but quite uncertain about some of my answers but overall, still feeling good about the paper because it is probably my best performing paper out of so many lmao
Morning, when i came to school i saw him all alone in the council room so i just went in and plotted myself right the seat beside him....He was thrown to do MA last minute because of a dumb person in general and it was the very first time that i watched him do MA, not me as the announcer of course. We have been doing it so much together that i never get the chance of seeing how he does it and all but sigh, first time watched him did it??? Was a bit sad when me no wear uniform, cause legit missing MA and tbh it felt so odd watching him doing with someone else, fml i call this overly attached working partner. And after MA, wendy goh called them and talked to them and that got me worried so i found him during break and yeah, found out that actually wendy goh was expressing her misses for them lmao hahah but thank god it was nothing serious omg but it was so funny hahaha!!!!
Nothing much afterwards and i left school at 4plus how wonderful :-)

Wed:
Bingsu date with chuken and i am feeling so thankful and completed as whole. Confessed so many shit to him too oh well...i told him everything regarding my recent concern and the great boy that caused me so much concerns recently woohoo :)
hahahah mam kind of know i went out to eat but she didn't question much so oh well. And seriously, Bingo is one great bingsu place and yes, i am going back to try all of your different other bingsu flavours i love the devil's bingsu we ate so much freak it was so so good i died omg 💜💜💜
And today is another i-cannot-stop-stealing-glances-day what's new right? :)
GP CA too and tbh, i am so thankful that i could write my essay because of him. So apparently, i saw and prepared the wrong questions for GP and was kind of worried but i saw jeevan in council room i went in and asked him about GP. He told me what he did and the points he wrote. And not kidding i ended up copying everything he said and took all of his points. Poor boy needed to do his physics work but he still helped me think of examples and research for me and i ended pu taking his phone and further research of other examples for all my points... jeevan you're still the best omg screw that girl omg seriously like stop rubbing my salt and repeatedly says the same thing over and over again and not helping me at all wth seriously omg rude af i cannot
love you jeevan thanks for being such a sweetheart even though you legit could have rejected me omg 💜💜💜 you're definitely so much better than some people i know omg thank YOU so much omg 💜💜💜💜💜
NE Dialogue session and i didn't fell alseep but actually it was because i slept during my break and so yeah
FREAK I LOVE MS TAN YAN YAN OMG
Maths lesson was so tiring and i am just so done with school so i just randomly, 'ms tan can we call it a day already' 20mins to the end of lesson and her next line was, 'okay la, we end here now'
And I was just like omg, ms tan are you for real?? i was just being retarded omg freak!!!! And before we left, she said to us that we much get an A, and yes i made that resolution, for my As i am going to make sure i got an A for my h1, doing it all for you ms tan really. I am so thankful for you,ms tan and yes, i am doing it for you, i am doing well for you, i am not going to disappoint you anymore because you're worthy of me working hard for you :')))
And wed was probably the best day, from jeevan in the morning to an okay GP CA to the loveable ms tan to bleh dialogue session & finally, my highlight of the day---my Bingsu date 💜💜💜
This was probably the best way to conclude my CA2 :)))

Thurs:
Passed him some lozenges because poor him seemed to be suffering quite a bit from sore throat omg :/ but thankfully he was alright yay!!!!
damn freaking tiring and i just hate my thursdays in general because it is truly the worst day of the entire week (and i have no idea why can i never miss lessons on thurs nothing really happens on a thurs wth???) but when thursdays are over, i actually feel accomplished and that i am actually able to achieve something in life lmao weird af
But yeah, thursdays are just bad and i hate thursdays fml
I hate thursdays so much but i always look forward to the end because i am always thankful for joel that i can just speak my mind and rattle on and on about everything and anything and discuss about him too :-)))

Fri:
Was supposed to meet jeevan today to hang out and have fun but nope, mama just had to come in and spoil all my fun omg :-))) she insisted of picking me up when wtf we fucking agreed that this entire month you will give it to me??? I was so fucking pissed off and annoyed i swear i cannot.
And i felt so bad towards him too because i called for it and i had to cancel it as well fml seriously wth rude af la. But i think i know why i am like that, mainly was it was him. Like i was actually quite excited to meet him, have fun and all but nope, all plans were dashed :-))) But he wasn't angry about it and he told me it was all okay and we can always fix another day but sigh, it was very last friday and she still had to take it all away fml. My life is legit left with nothing else anymore wow. Even blogging is done in such a secretive manner urgh
Next week is guides pop and i am already not attending invest rehearsal and the very last week is the track and field meet and hot concert and nope, i got no more fridays left friends :-))))
Anyway, i think i am kinda starting to like fridays a lot hahah, like pe is already good☺️☺️☺️and then omg, chi consult in the morning is just so productive and helpful and also physical geo star is also freaking enlightening omg i cannot freak i love all these sessions so much but sigh, because of timetable that's why they're all on fridays so i ended up can't end any early so yeah sigh pie...
PE lesson?? More like stealing glances lessons wth and i unexpectedly told pingxin and hidayah, okay i think i am done for the day already?? :-)
Could have ended the week better but nope, look what happened and sigh, i still somewhat upset about it and still felt that it was a pity oh well sigh......

It has been one tough week fighting against the stupid and wrong feelings in me, dealing with mama and her real unbelievible and unreasonable shit and yeah, trying to study and get my shit altogether at the same time. So tiring, goodnight and goodbye.

'Can the world just stop moving for a moment to catch my breath please?'

//

3 weeks altogether ;

Okay, wow i can't even imagine how long this will be seriously omg. It comprises three weeks shit how even wow and i guess no phone just makes everything bad and shit oh well. Guess who has CA next week but then i pick blogging because this is due for three weeks and seriously, this takes priority over anything wth omg i need to blog because this is where i am the most raw and i really just needs a channel to let everything in me out, zero filter. And i can't afford writing because towards the end, it will just get worse and then handwriting is just wtf already so nope. Plus typing is hence better in this sense. Too much writing impossible man wth. Anyway, lets get into everything already seriously.

WEEK 1:
First week without a phone. Honestly, i thought i was going to die. It was so terrible, okay it IS so terrible lmao. And actually, i felt so lost not even kidding. I was crying so much, literally and internally. Like, i didn't know what to do and i just felt so awful, plus ptm was so terrible and when i am constantly reminded of what happened plus when i had to tell many people about the terrible shit, i will feel like break down again and so yeah, i can't control myself either urgh. Like i think i broke down 3 times, and lost count of the number of times i was on the verge of breaking down. Tbh, thinking back now it still feels awful wth. And then, the week was so hard to get by wth. I think i don't even wanna deny the fact that i am so freaking addicted to my phone, but at the same time i really can't live without it sigh. What a terrible girl seriously.

Mon; PW Results Day. Honestly, want my phone because i thought it was a very important day so i wanted the phone but nope, she refused to give it to me wth. And omg the entire day was so horrible seriously i cannot. And i purposely went home late also tbh HAHAHA but oh well, the thing is i kind of wanna study in school also but i was quite happy cause i finally bought the shoelaces that i wanted to make for blue and purple and then he came with me yay. AND I GOT AN A FOR PROJECT WORK OMG YESSSSSSSSSS
And, it was also TP119 and A02 that we got As!!!!!!!! There were so much screaming by A02 super funny hahaha, super cute at the same time. Like individuals that just collected at the front were screaming, and then when the entire results slip was released to the class, it became a screaming session and omg, everyone was so happy because everyone was crying and screaming together and then like we were all hugging together as well omg woohoo :') TP119 IS SO GREAT OMG
Hardwork really paid off and we went through so much together as a group, all the pain and laughter we had seriously. It was certainly and no doubt a super tough journey, but thankful that my team was still really together and we all know the importance and work towards the goal together so yes, i am still really thankful my teammates were them and no one else :)))
Oh well, reached home super late but then oh well got scolded duh but aiya mutual bad feelings oops. And actually it is okay la lmao, i was just so unhappy because my phone is gone oh well.
But then. when i tried making the tennis ball keychain, the ball is too heavy so it is hard to put them together :( so i could only make a keychain oh well, but okay la it is quite nice to me too yay, because the colours surprising super matching and the contrast created is really great yay. And actually i made a black&white one too, but wow actually he didn't like black but omg, he still took it :') but i think he took it because i made it hahah.

Tues; Meet Blue&Purple, actually i would call it the second representative of Blue & Purple, because i made the keychain and then i hang it on both our bags, and omg tbh now that i look at it, this week is the third week already lmao. SHIT i just realised the keychains would be how long i don't have my phone omg gg HAHAHA
So yeah, and fuck my life seriously, because followup session with lena koh fuck my life and fuck her omg whenever i think about that issue, all i can think of is fuck and more fuck and just more fuck and plain fuck and nothing else omg seriously. WHAT THE FUCK SHE WANTS OMG
like omg, i love how she knew she is the third party but then she still wanna ask what happened afterwards and then she still wanna help me solve my family problems??? And i loved how she asked me how am i now that is my phone is gone omg :-))))))) and then she goes on and on about me being unfilial and then how rude af i am. okay, fine not going to deny that of myself but can we stop there already seriously omg. Oh, and she even asked me am i mixing with the bad influence wow and i am like did you just insult my social circle thanks man :) And she continued on about how i can be better and i am just went okay and non-stop nodding because i really want to just end this freaking shitty and annoying af and useless convo with her, because the more i hear the more unhappy it made me wow
Super unhappy and wtf i couldn't take it and i just broke up after i left wth seriously omg
And i am even more angry about myself, because why am i so affected by AN OUTSIDER'S WORDS WTHHHHH urgh who is she seriously omg get out omg
And the entire day was just plain awful omg. First round of breaking down
Oh and on the same day, i told joel and second time of breaking down and told jeevan afterwards. I need to stop breaking down. Because the entire weekend was all about breaking down and/or on the verge of crying super unhappy and so affected by it wth.
Day two of unhappiness

Wed; i think it was another awful day but tbh can't really remb much what happened on the day already but oh well, how much better can it gets right? :-))))

Thurs; longest day ever but it was also the one of the most tiring day for the week i think. It was just plain bad seriously omg i cannot. And i looked so off that wow jeevan caught my super off face oh well. I don't even know anymore, like idek how ti hide everything else because i am just affected and i can't believe i feel like crying even more because my life is seriously FUCKING pathetic right not because i can't even blog anymore. I even going to lose my very last place to run away from all the unhappiness in my life temporarily and i am going to be so done with education and wth should i just take a year from education wth, so what i started uni late because i think i am really so done with this year already wth wth
Lessons ended at 6, and thursdays are my worst days because it is my longest day and then i am like so drained, and things are bad la wth omg. Met joel and round 3 of breaking down i think the enitre day was just feel with so much unhappiness and me feeling real shit and all sigh. I honestly didn't know how i got through the day but what i guessed allowed me to go on was it was elearning the next day so yeah
And met up with joel and weiran too, and talked to joel and also told weiran the entire situation oh well i concluded she was a real true bitch when she asked her to break away from her close friends???? And so she made friends with benefits so she basically abandoned those that are of no use to her. Wow no wonder she has no friends and she is all alone :-))))
One word to describe me: distorted

Fri; elearning day. Super inconvenient because everyone was using the phone to transmit the messages around and then like, i just lost out on everything??? Actually, i found my phone but oh well i failed to take it so stupid me again lorh. And then elearning so i got the com entire day, and skype chat with joel in the morning, skye with chuken for 3 hours (no regrets, no fucking regrets okay) and skype chat with jeevan.
And wow, jeevan gave me one super surprising and sweet encouragement so yeah :)
elearning was so stupid and i rather attend school because wth i ended up with more work to be done????? and the entire day was real productive because not only i completed my work, i even caught up with my friends so yeah, it was real good :)))

Sat-Sun; nothing to say much because i am just apparently stuck with more work and no phone oh well.
Oh, and about nalan, told him about it too hahahah oh well, so we are back on ig direct lmao and he was sad and i guess it is even harder for us to chat anymore oops sorry alan!!!

It was just a week filled with sadness + annoyance + disgust + and generally me being real affected that's all.

WEEK 2:
Forgotten to write down about this week lmao, so i am going to be just based on memory seriously lmao hahaha
legit can't remb much already but i was just so caught up with physical geo CA and omg, i didn't study for chi gg and i just went to take the paper like that. Sigh, i just felt that i still won't do well for my physical geo lorh wth even though i studied some parts of it. And chi wow. I don't even wanna talked about it tbh lmao. It was so pathetic wth. But oh well, the day before phy geo i slept at 3 so no complains and i was totally knocked out when i got home and didn't study at all for chi. But omg, the teacher said i made improvement this time so i was really like this >>> O_O
And yeah, the only thing that probably made me better was probably the go home gang lunch i called for, because it was plain fun and enjoyable and laughing my heart out and just talk about life and all hahaha. Changi Airport lunch and bingsu afterwards yay man :))
And skype session with chuken omg hahaha love skype session with him the most seriously omg hahaha it is always super comforting and rewarding so yeap!!!! Got caught but whatever seriously. Hate the fact even the com is being taken away every now and then like wow thanks man :-)))
And okay, mon was rather great because of the little note and efforts from jeevan hahaha and also thurs evening with joel wow, i loved spending time with him so much and okay, now i remb what is the highlight of the week already >>> jeevan
The entire week concern was about him and my feelings so yeah and the internal war that i had to fight thanks man woohoo
For more info, please read below thanks friends
And he replied my email and then he told me he got something to tell me and the way he said it made me felt quite worried and scared about what he was going to say but yeah we cleared it already so all's good :)

Long labour weekend as well, so prepared for econs but i probably still screwed up sigh, why am i so bad seriously like urgh omg...Oh and rather productive, probably the phone does caused a lot of trouble, but without it, it also cause trouble so ..........
Practiced maths too, and feeling much better about it too so yay

WEEK 3 (this week):
Getting used without a phone but blogging is still one major issue that we have to work on fml seriously. And actually this weekend i was able to focus and really i didn't think about him but.....

Tues; saw him again and i went SHIT, and then i said SHIT again and i am just so done with myself la wth. Screwed up for econs again and probably will do worse than those that had A div and panorama urgh, what a loser seriously. All damn studying were wasted as well, great job jieai :-)

Wed; super sleepy in class and i fell asleep during assembly lmao, so embarrassing man. Was supposed to jeevan to clear the receipt work but poor weiran had so much to rant and then so yeah heard her rant and told her some stuff about my clique and class too. Conflicting af when i see these two groups of people seriously omg thanks mates :-) it was a super good ranting and letting out session with weiran and angie because i felt so much better saying so many things and also the affirmations i received sigh wow thanks guys, you people were great :)
And because jeevan didn't bring his com, i decided to bring it home to do and we ended up talking about what he wanted to tell me, so actually it is a concern on his part and he told me that he only told me his worries regarding the issue but his friends didn't know about that but they only know about the surface issue and i was like woah wow hahaha thanks for the trust love you teehee ☺️☺️☺️
And i think i am the only one that he talked about this problem, other than his parents hahaha??
weiran asked me how am i and i am like hahah i don't know because everything is just bad in general so oh well..
Anyway, but i am feeling much better already so yeap :)

Thurs; another long day at school but oh well, things get better towards the end and bonding session with joel was wonderful so yay for that thankful for this great friend seriously. Oh, and further updated about him about my thoughts and also i received some info about him lmao i cannot. And it is so difficult because it is real conflicting from what i am receiving for this end so this is confusing af too???

Fri; panorama 2016 so yes :)

And here is the end of of my crazily long posts and time is going to get tougher from now onwards and blogging is going to be so so tough and i am just going to do whatever i can to blog as and when it is possible already. Yet again, i survived another long post and wow
More tests and exams are coming up and i am just going to brave through this year and seriously be so done with life already. Not even halfway through 2016 and here i am, so fucking done with it already how great :-)

Goodbye and Goodnight

//

Panorama 2016 ;

I think I'm freaking obvious already but what makes me real happy was we took a photo together HAHAHAHAHA and actually today quite fun oh well really panorama 2016 was not bad but photo-taking session was more fun yay ✨✨✨
dinner & meeting up early were great, going there together was also alright and really the time spent together is really nothing much until towards the end, when I finally had the courage to tell myself, okay I'm going to take the photo and freak, he was also doing the same thing omg yay ☺️☺️☺️ and yay we took the photo, it was nice okay the photos woohoo 🙆🙆🙆 not magical night because cannot compare it to prom. Prom was just so much happiness and cray cray ness HAHAHAHA
I think I'm legit moving towards that side already wtf and he MIGHT actually start noticing something and then even though he decide to remain blur, I'm sure his friends will brainwash him very well. But whatever the case, tonight was great really yay 💜💜💜 I realise what makes me real happy was we took the photo, and when I was kind of looking for him and actually thought he left, he literally just appeared in my face omg yay hahaha
And yeah, he said he was looking for me also to take photo omg wow 💯💯💯
And yeah we took the photo and it was nice because freak we wore the same thing rude shit humans and people actually speculate we are together because of what we wore together wow I am feeling great right now 🙃🙃



but okay, I need to learn to maintain a bit omg because he MIGHT actually sense something already freak la wth .......

Panorama 2016 ;
It was a great night and we had so much trouble getting the tickets wth and I almost couldn't go omg what the freak and to think I will just missed out on all of these?? But omg thank the lord everything went out well and yes I was there and dinner plans could go on wow.
Was rather excited for panorama really because like watching the clique perform is one thing, and the dinner was another thing hahaha. Pockets of silence here and there, similar situation when I was with Alan and wow, he is really nice and sigh, times spent together is really good 😢😢
freak, now can't spazz on private because he's there much wow.
Oh, we walked around the mall few times, ups and downs aimlessly. Met Teo when going up the escalator, thanks the lord he didn't see us and freak, we kind of ran away lmao. Oh ya, I went to City Hall station, and was waiting for him, standing at a pillar looking legit like a kid that did something wrong and was having her punishment gg. jieai was so tired so she wanted to lean back and shut her eyes a while. Then, this group of tourists approached her and then she had to help them find directions and all. So yeah, when I was done helping them. I really went back to my little corner and was going to continue standing there lmao, but I decided to take a look at the look at the tap out area again and yeah, I saw this guy backview quite familiar and omg is it him and yes, when the person turned around, it was really him!!! Hahaha, like a little kid the whole time because was kind of giggling, laughing, jumping around a bit omg oh well.
Walked around the mall few times legit because don't know what to do and where to go and after doing that for an hour?? We finally settled for Thai express and freak, his friends walked past him when I was looking at directory wow????
Dinner was okay because we talked more shit and real random shit but yeah it was nice to get to know more about each other yay ☺️✨
And then, we went to buy flowers and head to the place. We almost went the wrong way, twice and we were freaking walking behind this council junior of ours and his bunch of friends, that seriously couldn't stop turning back wow thanks mates
When reached, we parted ways and actually he sent me to upstairs first before going down again wow omg :-)))
oh and concert began!!!! lineup was really good and every performance has their own captivating points really & it was rather short for all the performing arts groups but I paid 14 bucks so okay, not complaining hahaha
love band harmonising, senpao was cute af hahaha; guitar was really light-hearted and simple; chinese drama was legit summarised lmao what hahaha, but pingxin was pretty la so yay; guzheng was really really sweet and calming 👍👍; malay cultural was really nice :)
mdc is great as usual, but too many people and too many things happening at the same thing so confusing af too???
choir was so entertaining and adorable omg HAHAHAHA SO CUTE OMG
And yeah, they had appreciation ceremony and singing of the college song wow friends.
lame sidetrack: he was actually siting first row at the bottom level, but he came up to second floor???
and okay la, I kind of turned back quite a bit oh well 🙊🙊🙊
and then YESSSS; PHOTO TAKING TIME HAHAHA 📷📷📷
Collected the flowers and was jumping and running up and down so much because taking photos with different people lmao
Took photo with Joel but his friends were pushing him towards our direction, and raudhah was being an asshole so she gave me a push as well fml seriously wow. But okay la, we took a photo together hahaha weiran fav ship seriously but lmao, when taking the photos we were talking about him 😂😍 oh and ya we took a photo together yay but okay la, his class was being mean to him so okay lorh, I don't mind taking photos also ☺️☺️
And then next, we saw Olivia and then Jayce yay!!!! Super excited to see them and then while waiting for the others, I ended up running up and down, in and out of the place because go home gang, telepathic trio and telepathic buddy wanna take photos together hahaha
It was so nice omg, every time after a performance, it's always the same situation all over again hahaha
Oh and yeah, finally Jessa and Denise and pingxin finally appeared and we gave out flowers, had group hugs and finally took photos but freak la, so rushed so the photos didn't come out nice sigh omg, not very main-worthy though, but I wanna post something about panorama 2016 though 😢😢😢
A02 took class photo omg and we all took the efforts to find Afiq omg and we had a class photo like we actually wanted to take a class photo and didn't mind going around looking for a someone omg wow A02 is really changing but then sigh, at times, I am still quite done with the class la wth :///
conflicting much oh well
and yeah afterwards, I thought it was all finally over but then I thought it was a slight pity because I wanted to take photo with him but i don't dare to go to him sigh 😢😢 and when I finally made the resolution to go up to him, I came out and thought he left but nope, the next thing I knew was he came straight up to my face FREAK OMG, and he said he was looking for me omg cry die me so omg yay!!!!! HAHAHA because taking photo wasn't just a one-aided thing HAHAHAH
AND YES THAT COMPLETED THAT NIGHT OKAY FRIENDS HAHAHAHAHAH
and yeah, I was embarrassed and I kind of let off myself too much hahaha, legit wanna spazz so much but I don't even know is it even possible wth lmao omg and then I finally went home with Rau and hids yay and concluded the night. And I updated private and still considering main but hahaha, tis was a great night, with great performances, with great people & excellent company 💙💜💙💜

'I think I'm drunk, drunk in your love. But I think I'm sober, sober enough to call it a day.'


//