Simple Updates

Second week into June Hols, and honestly, i am so confused at my own progress lmao.. It is on track and not at the same time?? But one thing for sure, i am super certain that my progress is way too freaking slow for my own good and i am kind of panicking about that but somehow that brain and mentality is still not here yet wth??? Freaking worrying la wth but i can't seemed to do anything about it bless me please. And the fact that mama is more panicky than me is i think also one of the reason i am not very panicky yet?? wtf i am so done with myself. But because i am not panicky, i study super slowly and i seemed to be able to comprehend and absorb stuff better lmao. I don't even know is this a good or bad thing what even.... Like i wanna know the emergency and the urgency, but i also feel that because i am not scared, i am still real laid back and then still not feeling much freak la wth omg.....

What should i do about this????

Mon: somewhat productive lmao but i did maths and econs so quite happy about that yay nothing much too tbh

Tues: unproductive day I seriously omg didn't accomplish much and only did a bit of econs and i was just so tired. Thanks to econs extra in the morning omg. delphine was so pissed with us, we went from top in the cohort to the second from the bottom lmao. But, miraculously i passed econs CA and was fifith in class wow. And with this, i officially concluded that i passed all my CAs, and with a rank point score of 50. thanks guys, this is super great improvement from SA please omg

Wed: unproductive day II because i was just finishing up the econs from the day before and only did a bit of chinese and i am lagging so much for chinese revision omg ;((((

Thurs: even more unproductive tbvh but i went out and had fun doing shopping so to me, it was a day less wasted compared to the previous two days lmao but idk why, whenever i go out, even i did no shit the entire day, i don't feel as bad as those days i stayed home the entire day and still didn't accomplished much oh well hahah
Did maths for four hours and continuing with econs now, hopefully i can get some shit into me.....
Study progress is definitely super behind compared to my study schedule wtf seriously and i am just so done with myself watching people going out and having fun, and i know that during SA2, they're still going to perform so much better than me fml seriously. 

Fri: Sorry i can't remb already but tbh, everyday is just a repeat of my life over and over again so yeah. Reason why choose to not blog because i see no point in repeating my shit over and over again

Anyway, Third Week into the holiday and we are actually left with one more week left before damn SA2 and urgh, i am so worried because despite all the studying, it is certainly insufficient and my studying progress is legit too slow for my own sake fml seriously but i am just going to continue my own pace and yes, doing my bet this time round.
Anyway, this week was off and not off at the same time. Quite excited for the weekends and new home is legit freaking way too pretty for my own good?? everything is on point af la HAHAHA
ANDDDDDD I FINALLY BOUGHT NEW CLOTHES AFTER A GOOD NINE MONTHS OMG WTH 3/4 OF A YEAR WTH (since sep2015 what even)
SO YESSSSS this week is a much happier week because of wed break, new home, new clothes and better understanding of macroecons & volcanoes as well!!! and not forgetting weekends with more fun, even greater and better company, excellent food & a definitely much more better me and mindset :))))
Stay strong for another week ahead and when the exams are over, let's look forward to a bit of fun because we start the race again :))) you got this my dear!!!!!

'I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for i have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on upon our dispositions, not our circumstances. '

//

Stay strong & Pull through

June Holidays started. Time for some intensive revision. Quite worried about many things, but what is real scary to me is i am really kind of not feeling the fear and all... And this is defintely unhealthy af sigh.... But i am just going to push myself and tell myself to be real discipline so that i am able to pull through everrything and hopefully, i will not waste my holidays omg....

Mon: June Academic Week kicked in. Had econs and physical geo lesson. Ended at 11 and reached home at 1. Was the only one at home and watched rm and slept. RM seemed to be back on track and it seemed to be funny all over again hahah. Had a super good afternoon rest and all. And honestly, didn't do much work the entire day because was lazy and unmotivated sigh....
:(

Tues: Breakfast with jeevan and i realised both of us are actually hiding a lot from each other. We legit don't say a lot to each other and it was for the first time, i don't fight to talk in the silence that we shared lmao. The silence wasn't off or awkward, but i just kind of don't really like it in this sense so yeah hahahah. But breakfast was nice :)
Oh, maths and 3hrs of geo, god bless seriously. Survived them all and was supposed to meet chuken and catch up but nope, mama just loved to spoil everything altogether :-))) not even kidding, sometimes i feel that if i meet up with my friends, i don't feel that even more unproductive omg like wth. When i don't study that day, at least i caught up with my friends and then it will be no regrets and then because i was out, i will actually be more focused and concentrated and all. Oh man, not like i can say any of this to that woman. She is full of only her thoughts and opinions and all seriously. I give up already man. Say whatever you want, do whatever you want. Me not giving any single shit anymore. Sick and tired. Oh, and she just had to call jeevan and chuken again fml. Say that i am not listening to her then what about her seriously omg. Say ten thousand times not to call my friends ust yet and she just had to do it and scared the hell out of them wtf seriously. But, when she told me that yesterday, i really cannot be bothered to give any shit anymore already seriously wth. But i really need to buy them a meal when the year ends seriously omg.
And i requested a holiday at the end of the year because i really at least wanna work towards the holiday but sigh, everything have to be based on prelims wtf. So annoying la i cannot take it. She will never know that and she will never understand but last year, i was working towards Aussie. I had council and Aussie as my end goals so that's why i worked hard and i want to be promoted. This year, i am really kind of not feeling it and tbh, i am worried about that myself as well sigh.... What can i do seriously omg....???? ))):
Oh, and went for lena koh consult for the very first time ever and thank god, it wasn't just me alone so it wasn't that bad.
Didn't accomplished once again and wasted the night and all. Another real unproductive day omg i cannot.

Wed: stupid lena cancelled lessons didn't let us know beforehand so i made my way to school too early wth and seriously wasted so much time in school not even kidding wth. Went to school and slept and when i woke up, first thing i saw was him omg... And i still thought my eyes were playing tricks on me wth...And the best part was i thought i was still dreaming nice.....
(btw, for the third time this week already, i dreamt about him three times already omg wth this is definitely freaking unhealthy af okay people)
Only had econs and came back home. Slept and dreamt about him again wth and finished rm too hahaha
This week, i finished a total of 4 episodes of rm in i think over three days omg hahaha and i guess rm is back on track already and to think i missed 5 weeks in total haha but oh well, it was a nice feeling :)
Okay, time to at least make today somewhat productive and hopefully, i can kick start my june holidays well and i need to stop being trample by people around me wtf
GET OUT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
(btw, it was bleh because i finished maths and read my chi lit woohoo but tbh it is not a lot of work lmao oops)

Thurs: an even more unprouctive day but i am not feeling any single sense or tinge of regret or fear lmao wtf is wrong with me seriously i cannot. Super fun day though. Was late for gp lesson hahahah and freak walked into lt1, awkward af. Went to the wrong venue intially and had to left omg even more embarrassing. Then, during lecture, was looking around and i turned around and freak!!!! He was directly RIGHT BEHIND me what.....And i got a shock okay goodbye jieai seriously wth
Lesson ended 1 hour earlier woohoo and went to taka wow. Ate good food and spent an entire afternoon following parents around and not doing any shit at all hahaha. Came home and fell asleep immediately??? And freak guys!!!! I did hair treatment for the very first time in my life!!!!!! HAHAHA chemical smelled weird but okay, for my hair it is worth it :)
Slept late but only read one part of climate lmao gg af I cannot

Fri: probably the best day of this week already. And the best end to my academic week ☺️☺️
Maths was omg, and I need to start figuring my shit fml. Chi consult was real comprehensive but I got roasted lmao. Chi lesson slight waste of time but the discussion earlier on was real detailed and through so yay!!!!! But highlight of the day is lunch with chuken & dinner with jeevan!!! ☺️☺️ lunch with chuken was so needed and so important and finally I told him so many stuff that happened at home sigh.. Broke down again and it was for the first time, I think I really wanna fight the battle. Fight the battle with mum. It is going to be a super tough and super draining fight and battle, but that's no turning back. It's a path and road that has no backroad and I can't backdown, or else everything will backfire on me and I will die an even more horrible and painful death. I'm too fearful of the future and whatever that will happen. I need to toughen up and be strong and be persistent. I need to be real strong, physcially and most importantly, mentally. I need to win. Because there's no second option. Time to plan the strategy during the weekends. And I can't let chuken down, and most importantly, I can't let myself down anymore. It's time for me to start being firm and start being strong. Thank you chuken, I am going to make it. I'm going to emerge as the winner.
And after the super serious and intense talk and lecture and problem solving session, dinner was full of stupid shit. Was late for jeevan meetup but the moment we met, we started arguing over real minor and real stupid issue. But you know what, I won't want it the second way. I won't want it any other way 💜💙💜💙 saw angie and isabelle, awkward af but can't be bothered la wth. Omg we legit need to stop arguing stupid things hahaha. But sigh, being dumb and all makes me real comforting and the times are really enjoyable hahah ✨✨ thankful for jeevan, thank you for the good evening 🐶🎾💜💙 thank you for arguing with me, for laughing and smiling with me & thank you for always wanting to hang out altogether. Thank you for willing to invest time with me 💜💙💜💙
And us two, we need to stop swapping roles hahaha 😂😂 and then thanks for the company during alumni talk :) alumni talk is really really rewarding, enriching, helpful, fruitful, engaging and entertaining. Thank you for this opportunity, really much appreciated :'))))
And sigh, during the session with psychologist, I hate the fact that she spoke my thoughts and my inner thoughts, and I almost broke down again. Thankfully, I held back fml seriously. But all three sessions were really really really so beneficial and I geninuely learnt so much. They made me feel that A levels ain't a big monster at all omg. Two of them actually said that after this year, it's really not the end omg. And can I say, no one else ever actually told me those words until today wtf?? Why is our world so fucking screwed up in this sense seriously fml. I felt like actually I don't have to rush through everything and I can actually be myself and all. But then, the last speaker just said it was all about studying hard and yeah, I'm going to head her advice :) because what she said is right, I need to do well to shut people mouth up and I need to do well to prove my worth 👊👊👊
But thankful for the session & thankful for the good times in the afternoon, I feel that I'm able to be strong and also I feel more comfortable about my future too :)
Today has been the best day this week, though no study did, but thankful for everything that was put into my life. I have finally learned and grown both mentally and spiritually  ☺️💜✨


'You are still right here because the battle ain't over. You're still here because you haven't prove your worth. You are still here because you're still super strong and ain't ready to admit defeat yet.'
Jiayou jieai, you're so much more than you know 💪💪💪






//

Last week of fun & Great Moments, Goodbye Term 2 ;

HEYYYYY FRIENDS IT IS THE END OF SCHOOL TERM AND ALOHA HOLIDAYS WOOHOO ☺️☺️😋😋😇😇
This week, there's only three days of school but then freak, there's still many many things that happened like wth wow. I died tbh. But overall, it was alright altogether :)

Mon; Vesak Day holiday and I think it was just stay-home catching up and trying to finish up work and rushing like mad because I did no shit during the weekends NICE (nice is my new word btw)
And then AQ was so hard wth seriously I can't 😢😢😢 and yeah nothing much.
BUT, I took my phone guys lmao

Tues; woke up with a headache and a freaking big ulcer at the throat so it was freaking sore-ing and like slight and real mild fever also sigh
Invest rehearsal in the morning so I got to school but was thinking maybe leaving halfway but ended up can't even hold on to the second period and left after human geo tutorial NICE
Make a trip to times bookstore to buy chuken birthday present and was a true hobo when I just plotted myself on the floor and look at all the books. SO YESSSS
And then went home, giddy af and headache was a real bitch not even kidding. Slept for a while and headache didn't subside. Got up and went down to get medicine and eat something. Ate Panadol in the clinic lmao (bc I need a mc) and still feel real giddy. And doc insisted of giving me medicine as well when I legit don't want it but I really can't argue with him already so I just whatever fml. Then later, was contemplating damn hard should I go buy the balloon too but fml it was so uncomfortable but I still went anyway. Bought the balloon and I'm like, OKAY I NEED TO GO HOME NOW.
Dropped dead and slept again AND FREAK WHEN I WOKE UP LATER, HEAD NOT PAIN ANYMORE 🙌🙌🙌
Got up and did some work, including rushing cards fml. But still couldn't finish it omg.
And was faking accused of ponning school 🙄🙄 coming from the one that always say I can't miss school fml seriously

Wed; HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY TELEPATHIC BUDDY & IS IT INVESTITURE 2016 ✨✨✨
Was even excused from school early and then insisted chuken to carry the balloon around hahaha and then like entire day was quite alright because quite excited for investiture also hahaha.
And investiture came !!!! walked the stage the last time and also was sent to the back of the hall to watch the remaining part of the ceremony. And watching them all walk and recite the oath honestly bring back so many memories omg 😢😢😢 and yeah school song sang AND YESSS IT IS ALL OVER !!!!!! (Melissa came back btw)
Photo taking friends!!!! Going around taking photos and was celebrating chuken birthday as go home gang when I realised I lost my council badge FUCK
I dropped it somewhere that I have no idea where is it and I was just panicking the whole time looking for it wtf seriously someone kill me omg.
OMG I DROPPED MY BADGE ON THE DAY I STEPPED DOWN HOW GREAT OF A HUMAN AM I OMG SERIOUSLY
But the thing I don't even know where or when I dropped it and the freaking hall so big fml la wth so when I talked to ms nunis, she's said its okay and then she will get me a new one!!!! BUT!!!!! The new one is the silver one and ours is the gold one wth!!!! 😢😢😢 Super sad la plus now I can't wear uniform already dammit !!!!!
But we sang birthday song for chuken & took photo, and we created go home gang 3.0 ✈️✈️✈️ NICE HAHAHAHA
(with the addition of Kenn)
And went around taking photos, and seriously MA4 are such losers wth HAHAHA
And then welfare comm also, everything is over so really time to put down everything :) and also chuken, Muhila, jeevan & campaign group 4 and sigh, everything is really really over 😢😢😢
And omg go home gang was still around, and they were helping to clear the chairs but it was freaking fun when they were pushing the trolleys around HAHAHAH, had a good time going high and screaming for my life with them around oops (but not helping at all) and then also we went to eat chuken birthday cake omg !!!!! Collected my plaque as well!!!! And omg jeevan also wrote and drew me a card!!!! 😢😢😢 and the day ended with me going home FINALLY IN A LONG TIME WITH GO HOME GANG OMG !!!!!!!
lame shit: so when i was looking around for people during photo taking, I witnessed something that OBVIOUSLY didn't want to, and was rather affected by it. I went fuck my life when I saw it, but I said a second fuck my life for my instant reaction. I was so angry, disappointed, affected and hated myself so much the whole time for feeling that way, because I AM NOT supposed to feel it that way wth 🙄🙄🙄
(jeevan and melissa were hugging)
& also, I genuinely thought that both of them will hang out or go for dinner but jeevan ended up going home alone, which I was very shocked???? But I was like wow okay hahah
DAMMIT WTF I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH SERIOUSLY OMG IT IS NOT EVEN RIGHT LA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OMG
& then in the night, mama found out about the phone and then of course she raged and all but I managed to negotiate to have my phone until the week ends (and today is already friday sigh...)
So yeah, a super eventful day but vvv glad of all the things that happened :)))))

Thurs; freak!!!!!! Lena tutorial and star were cancelled so we ended sch two hours earlier!!!!!!! met up with joel and heard the most unbelievable thing from him ever HOW GREAT HOW WONDERFUL WOOHOO 🤗🤗🤗 so he confessed to me and then I was like wow but then I felt bad again because freak!!!!!!!! all the times I talked so much to him abt jeevan and actually that idiot hinted to me so much so so much and I'm just that dumb shit that didn't catch any of the hints AND FUCK MY LIFE
Still in a state of shock and disbelief I can't even wth!!!!!! But yeah, it got me thinking so hard omg and then I realised actually everyone caught the hint and everyone kind of guessed it AND I AM THE LAST ONE LEFT DUMB SHIT I CANNOT
but oh well, last day of school & last day of official lesson so vvv happy and excited about sports day & hot fest yay!!!!!!!

Fri; sports day!!!!!! super excited about today & freak guys, my class is running!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃 Lena bought us food and drinks because we were running but we ended up as last fml
Because actually, I really don't know was it me or denise that dropped the baton so apparently we were disqualified like that fml. And I heard we were leading at the start but I was so angry and affected because I felt it was me that led to whatever that happened sigh 😔😔😔 sorry a02, I failed you all like that sigh ...... but afterwards, it was more bonding session with limweiran and she was trembling the whole time when I told her that incident and lmao, she was in more shocked than me fml hahah but yeah, that poor girl is also going through so much because of her screwed up class and a very particular bitch wth seriously 🙄🙄🙄 stay strong my dear weiran 💪💪 time to fight those negativity and stand up for yourself and don't let those bunch of losers get to you okay!!!!!!!
And feeling quite affected by whatever happened and freak la, came to school with a god damn sore throat and blocked nose and apparently, my voice changed as well fml.
Towards the end of sports day, was feeling giddy and uncomfortable both physically and mentally seriously wth. Super sad because was anticipating today so hard and looked what happened to me seriously fml la wth 😕😕😕
But I ended my sports day with the most unexpected and random and impromptu lunch with jeevan wow
So it was just I wanted to take photo with him and then he already left the school but then he said he can wait for me outside school!!! I left the school and don't know what happened, he asked me what happened earlier on and we ended up going for lunch wow
Changi Airport and had ramen for lunch hahaha & nope, we didn't take our photos wow
HAHAHAHAHAHA
but yeah, thank god for a nice company and comfort & thank god for a comforting lunch as well ☺️☺️☺️ jeevan is becoming one great mvp in my life hahaha
And really, we are always so impromptu & super unexpected as well but sigh, it was definitely a pleasant surprise 💙💜💙💜
AND THE NIGHT EVENT GUYS HOT FEST 2016!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
So much jumping, no sound screaming & having fun !!! ☺️☺️☺️ omg freak I really love hot concert seriously!!!!!
And the lineup was really really good omg, all the songs picked + all the performers + visual designs + freak the committee is legit omg!!!! This year, hot fest 2016 really outdo themselves omg!!!! 10 bucks was worth it man omg!!!!! 💓💓💓
And then was sweating like mad after it, so much workout wth more workout than sports day please seriously omg.
And post-hot concert was also fun!!! Taking photos and all but actually got chased out by attendants so badly seriously wth I cannot !!! And stupid jeevan I cannot omg!!!!!!!! Hope he's well and all omg but yeah!!!! Ended the night with xiaobitches so all's good ☺️☺️☺️

AND FINALLY; this concludes my term 2 and aloha holidays!!!!! it was a good last week of school because of all the events that happened + all the fun I had as well!!!!

(and yes, it's time to study sigh)

'Everyday may not be good, but there's something good in Everyday.'
Here's a big thank you to all the sweethearts in my life 💖💖💖


//

Hardwork now, sweetness later

A week with so much in me, didn't really started out well but towards the week, vvv thankful for everything that happened and sigh, concluding that after experience the worst, whatever afterwards is certainly the rewards and tasting those fruits of labour and hardship 💪💪 

Mon;

High af fml. But I think I am high for the wrong reason wow. Basically he wasn't in school because he went for his commando interview and all. And okay, when I saw his snap in the morning and he said, 'I know you will be sad, because you don't get to see me in the morning' and I was just like, hmm wow okay...(bc he kind of speak my mind wth...) and so I had to cover up by saying, 'more like you don't get to see me you don't be sad' fml what am I doing seriously......

And I told hidayah and pingxin regarding this shit and i genuinely hope I don't screw things up already?? And me and hidayah went off to talk somewhere and we left the other two there. Sorry friends, I just don't feel very comfortable sharing to some of you regarding some issues so yeah. 

But yeah, the entire day was alright but when mama came and picked me up, I was late for ten mins and she decided to text and called chuken and jeevan :-)))) my dear chuken was having his ca and jeevan wasn't in school!!!!! How the hell are they going to find me wtf. I felt so bad towards the both of them and I had to apologised ON HER BEHALF and then I had to explained the situation ON HER BEHALF omg, and who was the one that's ALWAYS late when she comes to pick me and she tell me not to be late wow. Anyway, she was late for half an hour and she still asked me back, she was late??? WOW, and who was the one that insisted the timing when I tried to push it back so hard wtf 

Omg, our relationship is going to get so bad by the end of the year and seriously, it's not about A levels anymore omg. The ties is going to be vulnerable and I fear that we are going to argue over real trivial matters next time and then we will start not hang out anymore unless necessary because of all the misunderstandings and conflicts then I don't wanna clarify and I let you on like that seriously. Fml

Tues;

Nightmare and horror of the week. But was it because whatever I was going to experience for the rest of the week so way too beautiful and that's why I'm going through so hard that day??? 

Slept for 4/5 of the lessons and I cried too much already seriously. I cried three times wow how even. Twice when I met weiran during the break and we talked about jieai being so sad right now, and when everyone is suffering from jieai-deficient, she's suffering from life-deficient and she's on a life support right now 

HAHAHAHA that actually cracked me up so much I swear hahaha 

And the last time was she was late when she came and picked me up and then I tried negotiating and it turned into a toxic af lecture and then I ended up crying so hard and I cried to bed as well. I was so tired the entire day and then it was so awful wtf. I went home and just slept over it. But it was just so painful la wth I hate it so much I hate it 

Wed;

Because when yesterday was too painful, today feels like a dream. And sigh, I think my Wednesdays are generally my best day of the week. And it was too good to be true wow. 

What a bittersweet day omg. Last day in the council room and we officially handed over the room to them omg 😢😢😢 

Morning was just plain noisy and making so much noise and laughing so hard. And my day ended early also because last lesson was cancelled hahaha. I ended at 12, oh technically 1150 because someone wanted to come and remove the fan and I just said, since we are left with 10mins, just end already and yes, ms tan was like okay la, hahaha!!!!! I love ms tan 5eva omg!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ 

went to council room afterwards and freak I was there since 12 and all the way onwards. stupid joachim put the luck on my bag and I had to plead with everyone to unlock it but only nice jeevan did it for me!!! He couldn't unlock it and us two were slightly panicking but thank god it was out??? 

And yeah, we ended up on the sofa again talking about life :)))) I talked about toxic Tuesday and he shared wonderful Monday hahaha, it was fun talking about random shit in life and it wasn't for once awkward and had pockets of odd silence omg freak so happy hahaha ☺️☺️☺️ oh, and we ended up going for lunch together wow. It was really a very nice feeling and sigh, it was just fun 💜💙💜💙 

Oh ya, councillors were playing monopoly and screaming like mad in the room and then there are some of us, just sitting down there like bosses while waiting for juniors to figure out the lock hahaha. I love the room la wth and we are giving it up already.

And logs head is raj (expected so it's okay) but bless his team not even kidding stay strong raj 💪💪 and have fun figuring out what's in the room and have a great time working with your team. And by the end of the council term, you're able to transform everything into something amazing, it's your success and it's your 31st logistics comm proudest moment ✨✨

Oh, and when juniors entered the room, ms nunis went like, 'whatever you guys need/want from the room, ask jeevan/jieai and tbh, at the moment, I really felt like a proud mum and then so much great satisfaction and achievement in me because really, only us two know the room so well enough I cannot. 

(random: I swear I didn't realise us two were sitting the same way, like sitting up straight and arms folded and looking at juniors unlocking the door omg freak) 

And invest rehearsal, and it was nothing much but it was nice attending council stuff again and also the very last time already anyway sigh.

Rehearsal ended, and when we went back to council room, wow the lock was stuck and then we couldn't open that shit and only to realise that juniors accidentally reset the lock wow. But lmao, when they were figuring out the lock outside the room, they were thinking of using tools to break open that shit, so they got me into the room (you can actually enter the room without unlocking the door hahaha) and then when I wasn't able to find it, they got jeevan to come in also via the wrong way, and then while others were figuring out the lock, we ended up talking even more and I tried finding hammer/mellet and all and we ended up talking about guides and scouts lmao and also family hahaha, it was super random but then we ended up just waiting for them to unlock and all already oops 

OH OH OH HAHAHAH ; we went ikea together too btw oops >>>> to get Ian present okay!!!!!! 

Took the bus there and was awkward af because there was raj and shuihan there as well wow but thank god they didn't really notice us so hahaha..

Spent a long time discussing which frame to buy and how are we going to decor it and all oops 

And because it was too late, he panicked and then he and chuken had to work together again lmao hahaha but mama feel sick so oh well

Cabbed home eventually because it was damn late already hahaha but sigh, it was way too much fun already the entire day, and I spent too much time with him in one day right hahaha but sigh, it was fun. Just fun ☺️☺️☺️

💜💙💜💙

Thurs;

A mixture of good and bad actually. Like Delphine, Wendy and Lena all were not there for lessons!!!!! Had a super long break & I went off to make the present for Ian and then more jeevan for the day hahaha. And freak, we were so damn efficient and omg, I really love this work relationship because we are always super efficient and effective I cannot!!!! 

And I went back for lecture and afterwards, school ended two hours early for me hahaha!!!!! And I went back to write more cards and also a small note for Ian as well! But sigh, I felt so sad about myself and also super apologetic towards joel because we missed each other just like that and then we didn't hang out together as well omg!!! And poor joel even injured himself during the heats omg freak!!! I felt so bad towards him and really, we also haven't been hanging out with him and freak la, I miss him also wth omg and yeah, went home late (she didn't come btw) too but oh well oops.  

But really proud of myself for wed and thurs because I completed my todo list a lot yay!!!!

Fri;

Another super satisfying day from this week really :')))

Star was cancelled so I ended school earlier, but get well soon alright ms huang 😢😢 

Lunch was funny because I spent a long time debating with jeevan, claudia and chuken were so done with us because we were contradicting ourselves hahaha but I missed talking to chuken and I legit need to catchup with him already WTF MAMA GET OUT LA OMG

and the afternoon was so messy because me and weiran wanted to go for guides pop but then what's annoying was the investiture rehearsal timing wasn't confirmed, and I heard four timings wow :-)) 

and I was also feeling a bit worried because I wasn't able to attend the rehearsal but I don't want to cancel on weiran as well because honestly we haven't been catching up + i miss weiran a lot, a lot.

but thankfully, i was able to attend half an hour of rehearsal and i left afterwards hahaha

and we missed the entire pop but we got the food though HAHAHAHA

but the trip there & on our way home, we were just non-stop talking, going on and on the whole time and seriously just letting all out, zero filter omg. I was so thankful for this because I can finally say everything and anything on my mind and then when we come together, there won't be a breathing time because we just keep on say so many things altogether and freak, I love these moments omg :'))) 

Though I missed rehearsal, no regrets I swear. But the food was also not bad hahah, and it was really nice going back to Chung Cheng and taking a look at everything, from the infrastructures, to people and the legendary lake :')))) 

Everything was oddly strange and familiar at the same time, and wow it doesn't feel the same anymore sigh. I missed Chung Cheng tbh, I missed it as a whole and I genuinely can't really pinpoint out what I missed most but I think I miss everything in general bah :)

But for tpjc, I think I will know what I miss though. I will miss the people, my favourite council and all the great friends and memories I made here. tpjc gave me one of the greatest and best memories for the rest of my life and I am thankful for it ☺️☺️

And long weekend ahead so quite happy about it !!! :')))) and can't wait for the last week of school already omg!!! holidays are coming and time to work harder and time to shine during sa2 yay!!!!!

边缘间，傻了

我想我真的不小心喜欢上你了。
我真的惨了。
我不小心玩过火了。
原来， 你早已在我心中种下根。
原来，你已悄悄变成我脑海挥之不去的画面。
原来，你，不如说我，我已踏进那滩浑水，欲罢不能。

惨了，真的是惨了。
我都不知道该怎么办，
都说到如此地步了，
我可以做什么呢？
我好无助，我也没想到我会陷入如此局面。
我从未想到我竟然会面对这个问题。
原本还信誓旦旦没问题。。。结果，我成了这样。
我非常有信心不会发生，
我快要疯了。
先是不同宗教，现在是不同宗族，
问题更难，更棘手了，真是傻了。
我该怎么停止这一次呢？我可以做什么呢？


爱上了一个我不该爱上的人。
我，真的玩完了。
彻彻底底地死了。
惨了、疯了、傻了
如何是好？我又该何去何从？


不要再对我好，
我好怕，
我怕，我会越陷越深；
到时，真的是回不了头了。
我宁愿，你开始不喜欢和我在一起。
我宁愿，你开始选择避开我，离我远去；
那我也更容易死心，
不再对你抱有任何希望和期待。
而我，也能更快地从这场梦苏醒，
不再继续痴心妄想。