19 days ago ;

Good Morning.
Literally because a good morning because it is in the wee hours. But, it has been a while. Completing forgotten about here last week because so worried about promos and keep on fearing that there is still some things that either untouched or information not filtered in yet.
First week was the Sep holidays, which i completely forgotten to blog and then when i finally realized that, it was already Sunday night, the day before school restarts and a new term starts. So i told myself that i will blog the wed, the last day of official lessons. But, i was too caught up with work and then i completely forgotten about it as well. So yeah, before i know it, today is the day already. Tbh, i didn't wanna blog, it was so impromptu because i was talking to a telepathic friend so blogging just came to me. So here i am now, updating about my life two weeks ago.
Sep holidays, i went back during the weekends and was suppose to study but apparently, i didn't follow so the plan backfire on me and uh huh, didn't study at all so came back and had to rush through everything. Mon was back because i woke up late and mum made me do work plus i had to meet weiran in the evening to cycle. We went for a mini cycling at the park connector behind my house and also went to get stuff'd. It was the first time i tried that but it was oh dear, love at first bite like it was so on point the kebab was so good and the filling, the wrap was just thumbs up thumbs up yay for stuff'd woohoo. And then tues, i went back to school for lessons and then met up with tampkangied HAHA. Our very first official meetup ever since the formation of it. And finally, i told dora about it. I told dora about burden chan. Bc the both of us each has a burdenchan, she thought i was referring to her burdenchan, but it turn out that it wasn't her burdenchan, but my burdenchan instead haha. Actually, until now i still can't really believe that yes i told dora, the second person i met in tpjc about it because it was honestly quite a personal matter on my part and other than all my clsoe friends, which all happened to be all sec school friends, no one knew about it, other than chuken. My clique don't know too, like i feel sorry towards them bc they have honestly been sharing quite a bit about themselves, and then they simply told the group like their ec, their love stories but idk why, somehow it require a lot of efforts on my part to even tell them who is my ec. Like, i only them my ec only after two months and it was because they all had one obviously and then we had like our own sharing session so yeah. I told them. But, that also mark the end of my stories regarding such personal relationships. I guess i am not ready that's all. This is me, if we are close, you don't even have to make an effort to get yourself update about my life, bc i will be the one broadcasting to you each and every single moment i have. In fact, you might even get so tired from listening bc i really speak too much HAHA. But when i am not close, even the simplest thing, i might not say too well. I don't have a neutral side, but only 2 extreme sides. So yeah, i told her. We spent the entire time talking about the issue and chuken was exceptionally happy bc now i gave him a partner in crime to disturb me with it. smh i just dug my own grave please. But, idk why i felt really comfortable with that girl now and i just told her one of my most personal secret. oh well, but i am glad i told her and yes i welcomed her into jayaiiie_ too. And when i accept new following, it means i am willing to show you my weak side and that yes, i know i can fully 100% trust you on my shit already. People following my private better be thankful and honored omg. Moving on, wed i finally really got my shit together and then i started my revision rigorously. But, urgh being a s low learner and a rather distracted one too, my progress was really slow, like too slow for promos but honestly, i can safely tell you that whatever i learnt during the holidays are retained very strongly on my brain now and that for a short period of time, it maybe still there. whoops whoops, clap for long term memory friends. Wed, thurs, fri, sat and sun, i was homed for a good whole 5 days and that i really did not leave the house at all, like AT ALL. Not even going down for a walk or to get food or meet anyone. Nope, i didn't leave the house at all and i was wondering why was i feeling so stuffed and cooked up on sat afternoon, and then it finally dawned on me that i was homed since wed omg, I was genuinely shocked at myself too omg, I really stayed home all this while omg. You have no idea how thankful i was on sun when mum wanted to get some bread and went to the bakery at orchard. I immediately tag along like 'urgh, i need to get out of the house this moment now omg'  When i went out, the air suddenly became super super fresh and new and everything looked so different to me even though it was the same route over and over again. haha, i was so retarded please. Also, for this entire holiday, i slept in the day (morning), do some work called by mum (afternoon), dinner and bathe and finally, settle down at around 10-11, and finally commence my studying time until the morning and then go to bed and the cycle repeats. And there was this one night, mum was being such a sweetheart and she ordered pizza for me at 10pm bc she said that i was going to stay up so it is okay, haha (extra love for this bonus yay man)
And this officially marks to closure of my Sept holidays. Honestly, never been so diligently studying before but still, the work ain't proportionate to my hours at home so oh well, still not very productive just yet.

New term started, and 3 days of school left. Did duty for the last time for this term on wed and genuinely thought it would be the last time for the year, but nope, mrs goh said that morning assembly resume after promos and immediately, jeevan and i just turned and looked at each other, with the same expression omg, scarily on point. The both of us were just like 'huh what, wait what did she just say omg' and stupid burdenchan and jeevan made eye contact and burdenchan was laughing at jeevan omg. you don't laugh idiot, mr mak loves your pair than our pair bc you have combined and we only have j1s HAHAHA.
But oh well the 3 days passed by really really fast and it was really soon, study break came and i went for consultations and did some revisions in school. Geo consultation is by far the no 1 most productive consultation bc we spent a good 5-6 hours with him and he was just drilling us with all the knowledge over and over again and basically, just a reinforcement of all the things he taught and i couldn't be more than thankful for it bc after the consultation, my brain was literally fried and i cannot process anymore other information, I went home feeling really satisfied btw teehee.
And fri, maths consult was just plain dumb (me) bc everything is in the calculator and all that i have to do it to transfer all the information correctly and properly that's all. And then we spent 3/4 of our time talking about the other things but i was thankful bc ms tan is being such a sweetheart and she told us many many little information that are the loopholes and tactics of a levels and teachers shhhh and she constantly assure us everything will be fine and all we have to do is to make sure we eat well, sleep well, calculator in good condition and just do your very best. Sigh, one of the sweetest teachers around omg, not to mention all damn hint please hahaha. i went home early bc mum called me but i forsee myself completely not studying at all, which was more than true that day, i didn't do much work that day and only a bit sigh. Same for my weekends, it wasn't that productive still and i went out to find weiran on sun, the day before gp paper to have our last study date together. It was alright but oh well, i am still not very productive and helpful just yet towards my own studies sigh...

AND FINALLY, THE MOMENT WE ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
 P R O M O S
GP paper commence on monday, and essay was rather one of the exact same question that denise and i discussed during consult lat week. the both of us couldn't be more than happy so we just wrote that question. haha, i almost dropped the paper when i saw the questions i swear. but paper 2 wasn't that nice bc aq was so hard omg urgh i rushed through at the end and fml, i din't know summary has a higher weightage this time round omg urgh then i shouldn't have spend so much time on aq omg annoying jieai is dumb omg but i went home, slept and did more econs that night.
Chi paper 1 + half of paper 2 on tuesday, essay was rather sweet and i wrote about my japan trip, the purest form of snow, the sweetest memory and the culture at japan. compre was rather alright too bc the breakdown of marks were really nice and i concluded that they are really trying very hard to push us all to go up omg. Like it was a combine of few marks together instead of just 1 solid mark given to the questions. Overall, the paper was rather good and i just hope that everything work out for me oh well sigh. Bonus: i couldn't sleep on the first night so i ended up sleeping for only 2 hours and then i went to take my chi paper just like that.
Geo (physical and human) + econs on wednesday, probably the worst and the most terrible combi ever like omg ever i am so done with cambridge, so down with tpjc management urgh. brain was more than fired by the end of the day and i swear, though i conquered 2 of my h2s, but i can say that i am more than defeated by both papers, especially econs. it is really I. AM. FUCKED. like geo,  i totally missed out on transportational processes which cause me 8 marks, human geo was so utterly badly done omg, like wtf. the second question was a domino question, so yes i got my part a wrote so obviously, whatever that is below is just utter rubbish and bullshit omg. that question is 12 marks btw. and then my essays answers doesn't really match what the others wrote so all in all, geo was just bad bad and more bad. And then came econs, case study was alright, provided my answers were alright too, ceteris paribus please. but essays were another story of utter bullshit, like i wrote a lot a lot but bc it was more of idk anything anymore so i am just whacking everything and anything, and now i just hope that i can get like 26/50 i think it will honestly be more than enough for all my rubbish that i wrote oh well. basically, i fucked up econs too woohoo.
everytime, there is a double papers, it is either i screwed up one of them, or i will screw up both, i guess it is the latter this time. i am honestly worried bc i genuinely feel that i may not be able to make it and that it is really really just super badly done sigh
idk idk anymore plus i had some really really bad lashings last night so it added to the pressure and then i couldn't even break down bc i told myself that there ain't enough time to do it urgh.
I was so tired and that i just slept and chuken called me and talked to me, and then yes i broke down once more. urgh why am i crying more now i am in jc wtf this is not fair and this is not me please, i am stronger and tougher than this please omg wtf
But i got everything out and cried, i felt much better but it cannot wash away the fact that i screwed up real big time my 2 h2s subjects so urgh, cannot stop feeling that i might be ogm wtf
But yeah, once again, i cannot let this dwell too long bc i still have 2 more papers to go and yes, i need to salvage whatever i can now. sigh, please don't fail me anymore, esp maths I really desperately need the A for maths so as to ensure my 10 rank points omg.. and chi omg my chi, i got a U for CA and i better do something about it now omg sigh....
Okay this is the end of my tiring two weeks and especially exhausting 3 days..... the remaining few days left, i am just going to work and pull through them all and hopefully, i will feel better when i walked out of the exam hall next week sigh.....
Okay, the sun is rising soon but i am going to sleep more now...
Goodnight and good morning.
jiayou

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